As much as we try to avoid it sometimes its unavoidable. The greyer side of any situation can slowly emerge within seconds of what was meant to be a pleasant exchange of words.
We have all experienced a situation that has eventually been blown out of proportion one way or another. Ultimately, it’s rather comforting to know that it’s quite rare for another to go out of their way to make our lives difficult unless they have an emotionally driven motive to do so because let’s face it, it requires a lot of time and energy and that’s time and energy most of us can allocate more valuably and effective elsewhere. But like all things questionable within this experience we are living it is never disregarded right! But this post is not about sabotage and validating who is right and who is wrong in the situations we face daily, No. This post is about ourselves and being that ultimate backing force of support when the world seems against us at times.
It is ever so easy to decipher any situation whilst observing on the sidelines, when we are not the ones in the direct fire line as they say. It is amazing how much there is to be observed whilst we are not emotionally impacted or directly involved within a situation. It could be because we are not being bias, or solely because we are just assessing the situation from the words being thrown around so forcefully that pack a punch to our understandings. But as we all know there are always to sides to a story and that usually means two separate understandings.
First comes a shallow hello of uncertainty, assessing the retrieving parties’ response before we frame our conversations. Then starts the blame followed by justification from both ends, its nothing less than an emotionally fuelled blood fight scaring and staining years of positive memory’s in the process. More times than none the individual that has a more direct and forceful approach always ends up being on top hanging their victory flag so high and proud for all to see. Many of us may think it is easier to close out a situation nice and early taking all the bitter blame just to silence the aftermaths and consequences that are promised in return in order to just get on with our lives, but what goes unnoticed is how it slowly starts to affect the lowering individual as time passes. It creeps up on us ever so slowly until it becomes large enough to consume us. Yes, I am a firm believer in disarming a silly situation before the volcano erupts and causes a world of misery, but I also believe that we must hold our grounds firm and strong when needed. It is not about who is right and who is wrong but to be heard, respected and acknowledged. For most of us all we want is to be fair and reasonable. The powering individual is usually stubborn most times and dismisses any form of acceptance of fault just to further validate themselves, but don’t be fooled by their domineer, the words you say will sit in the back of their mind no doubt and self-justify your intentions soon enough, so make sure your voice your concerns.
To have faith and trust within the individual you are. Don’t wait for friends and family to support you as in most cases they will which is an amazing gesture, but build that internal trust and love for yourself, this is a must!
See there will be times in our journey that feels as though the world has all turned against us and we are left all lonesome, but this is when we need ourselves the most. We must hold ourselves up and build an internal love for ourselves. To trust and love the ones we are. We must be that ultimate force of support. To be heard even if it is for ourselves to hear, to know that we have our backs and we trust the one that we are!
There is an amazing shift that happens within one once we trust ourselves, once we support the person and the decisions we make and take full responsibility for the individuals we will become. Ultimately you are the most important person of your life and we all deserve to be loved by ourselves before we can expect anyone else to love us in return. I believe this is the first understanding we must master to unlock a world of abundance. Our internal physic that is buried deep within us will be flooded with positivity and internal understanding once we do so. It is just like spending the night in the arms of your dearest companion, sharing your positivity with one another, instead you give a sense of love toward yourself. We are all amazing but truth be told if we don’t grip this understanding of how to support and love ourselves, to believe within the power we possess how do we expect anyone else to? It’s simple. See everything we do in life, each experience, each person we meet and every situation we are blessed be good or bad are all adding to our ultimate understanding of who we are, what we deserve and what we are capable of. See we are the centre of our universe! Everything stems from us. Remember, the way we approach each situation will differ depending on how we understand ourselves in that moment we are experiencing them.
we all need to be conscious of how we are feeling toward the individual we are from within at all times. When we are ready to take a risk in life, or we are feeling nervous toward a situation grab your own hand and know that whatever is to happen, you will still have yourself at the end of it. Whatever is said and done you will still be there to support yourself and stand by your side through the thick, thin, fire and flames.
Once we forget this truth our entire experience and approach is altered. It is important to understand that everything we have experienced throughout our journeys and the person we were in the past is still here within us. If we were committed in the past toward a specific goal and now we feel unmotivated we can easily turn it around. I mean we have all proved our greatness in the past right! It’s all to do with how we feel about ourselves and the understanding of the individuals we are within the moments that come to pass. Have faith! Our internal dialogue plays an important part of our self-confidence, “Yes I am shy now, but I never use to be?” or “yes, I was motivated to reach my goals no matter what but now I seem to have given up?” But it all comes back to how we assess ourselves within the moment, our environments and our faith within ourselves! It’s not about what we can lose because everything we have gained in understanding can never disappear, the question is what is there to be gained!
If we just give up without even trying what message are we conveying toward ourselves? That we are not worth it or undeserving of a better future? Come on, what good does that do? Do we really want the sympathy of others? Not really right. We must gain our internal confidence once again. Yes, at times it feels as though we are learning to be the person we use to be or the person we wish to be, but the more we believe in the person we are today and have faith of the strength we possess the quicker we will regain our confidence once again! Trust me, try it. To acknowledge yourself is an ultimate thing to do. Listen to your voice as you speak to yourself. No, its not crazy, it is showing love to the most important person in your life, YOU!
I think of myself as two people, the person that the world sees and the person I know I am and what I can become. An external persona and one of internal spirit. To be satisfied with the individual you are within every moment of existence, to be accepting and loyal, to have our backs one hundred percent no matter what, even if the odds weigh over us more times than the clouds in the sky. We must never put ourselves down, we must treat ourselves how we wish to be treated by others. How do you wish people to see you, what is the ultimate way you wish to be praised and understood, this is how we should learn to treat ourselves?
To back down at a situation that we know we have done nothing wrong and to sub miss to it just adds to our internal understanding that we may be at fault. Thus, we start absorbing all that negativity and understandings that we are not good enough to be heard or even acknowledged. it all adds to our subconscious understanding of who we are, even if it doesn’t seem like it at times. During these heats of frustration, the opposing individual comes to believe we are a push over and that we were in the wrong all along, just to justify their guilt that they may experience. Like all things that get misunderstood they eventually escalate later, even when the basis of their judgement maybe wrong. In other words, we go against ourselves and leave the external us to fight all alone. See when we neglect ourselves especially when there is nothing to feel guilt towards, how do we expect anyone else to support us? When we don’t have love for the person we are, then who is left? In time, we eventually feel its wrath. Call it self-bullying, neglecting, being unloved or dismissed of, whatever we call it one thing is certain, no one deserves to be treated in this way, right or wrong! However, if we have done something wrong we should acknowledge it and understand our wrongs. Admit to our wrongs, but don’t neglect ourselves in the process, we stand by our mistakes this is how we learn to become the best version on ourselves. If we have done nothing wrong, we hold your ground firm until the others understand we are not in the wrong. Have trust in yourself and stand by your decisions and actions. It’s quite simple, if the world is against you and you take sides with the masses, how do you expect anyone else to stand by you and more importantly what is left of us when we don’t even trust the one we are?
Don’t neglect your internal voice, let it be acknowledged. Feel your body, heart and soul when its dragging us into uncomfortable situations, let it be heard not neglected left lonesome somewhere in a dark corner just swaying back and forth. If we continue to sub miss to every situation that comes about which presents some misshape and just shy away? What is this conveying to the real you, the whole of you? Are you expressing that you’re not worth being voiced or even heard? To make things worse many times individuals have an argument caused by a misunderstanding and the powering individual always concurs the fight, leaving the opponent (You) to feel that you were in the wrong even though we are not. What message does this convey to ourselves? When it is all said and done, and we continue to submits to these toxic habits they will stack up so high that the bookshelf will just fall and scatter everywhere causing us to scatter our understanding of who we are.
We are us and we must always be there for ourselves. Understand that the most important person in your life is You! Its not selfish, its an understanding that the person we are will always be there by our sides to comfort us, to provide that support and strength even when the tables have flipped. So always believe in yourself and stand your grounds when needed. You will thank yourself in time to come, trust me.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s post, and I look forward to hearing all your insights and comments.
Until Next Time, Take Care.