Intuition over Reason – Unlocking the Sixth Sense

I would like to invite you on a journey. A journey of self-discovery and questioning. To present an opportunity for you to learn a little more about the person you are and your capabilities. A quest of trust and inner voice, designed to give you an insight that can help you experience a world of feeling and knowing even before you are presented the outcomes. It may seem unbelievable at first, but let me assure you that it is only a result of our disconnection to the world around us! A reality understood only by prior reassurance and fear.

I want your mind to walk alongside by mine for a moment, to unlock a hidden potential that we all possess. It may seem as though we are disconnected at times but it will all makes sense in the end.

We are living in a time that keeps us forever stimulated and we can see how adaptable and persistent we can be. We excel in an ever-changing world and we can multitask more than we have come to know. At times we feel indestructible, onto of the world juggling more than an acrobat in the middle of a circus show. Other times we feel as though it’s all too much carrying a world that outweighs us more times than one. But don’t be fooled by what we are being presented, the things we choose to take upon us and action. There is a sense we are using but it seems to be camouflaged and it’s time to make it present.

Intuition seems as though it’s all made up, we hear of it often but truth be told it doesn’t really measure up. So what is it and how can we experience this amazing additional sense that seems to be swept under the rug, just gathering dust until it seems inexistent. When I think of Intuition I instantly think of human instinct, that sense of understanding something instinctively without words or conscious reasoning. It’s a knowing of certainty without evidence. It is a subconscious experience and a marvellous one at that!

Albert Einstein once said “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift” But what did he mean by all this? A man that has had his name live on through generations and many more to come must have seen a potential in all this!

Intuition is something that has become so distant to all of us, somewhat of a myth and disbelief. But before we go to fly with the fairy’s in a magical wonderland, let me express my understanding from within and how I have come to Intune myself with this sense of wonders.

Firstly let’s open our minds to the possibility of the unexplainable with some knowing that has been presented to us but never really explained. This way we can start to grip this understanding in a logical way. Can I ask you if you believe in human/animal instinct? How can animals sense when it will rain or when there is danger about without being presented the evidence at first? Could it be that it is subconscious and that is the reason it stays so well preserved underneath our actions. Or how were our past ancestors so Intune with their environments that they created works of wonders that we can’t really explain today. Yes I’m talking about the pyramids, civilization, cultivating language and understanding astrology. Was it a result of having far less distractions than we do today, which helped them to really Intune themselves with the environment around them or with their intuition? Hmmm back in a time that nothing was confirmed with so much to discover, they didn’t have any evidence they could fall back on to reassure them on their hypothesis? No conscious reasoning of reality or imaginative! So they must have used intuition via trial and error! Could it be that we are so Intune within this modern generation of reassurance and only believing things that have solid evidence attached to them, even when there is still so much to be learned! Ponder on that thought for a moment. Or is it because our all so busy lives have finally taken us away from our natural habitat to camouflage our true potential.

Intuition is a feeling that signals warning bells or magically makes us feel reassurance to a certain dilemma we are faced via an internal feeling or hunch as they say without any form of proof or evidence. But don’t be fooled of the potential you possess as it seems to lead us astray at times. The way I look at intuition is understanding that it just like all our other senses. At times our eyes play tricks on us or our hearing gives in due to other supporting elements that seem to sabotage our understandings. Like our other senses, the way we understand intuition and use it is critical. We all know that mental reasoning always tries to mask our true intuitive sense by either past experiences, or even fear that can make us give up on even trying to Intune ourselves with it and even make us believe that it is inexistent.

Let’s try something for a moment, all together. Can I ask you all to close your eyes and actively focus on your surrounding environment? Feel the air pass through your body, listen to the surrounding noises and focus on how all your senses are responding, gathering information by sound and touch solely. Now clear your mind and picture a colour of pure white emerging all around you until it is all you see. Focus on the sensations around your body, can you feel the Goosebumps or as I like to call them our scenery buds absorbing all the surrounding information to help clear our minds and help us to silence our thoughts and internal reasoning. We neglect our senses ever so often and I believe it is because we have trouble silencing our minds. Also because we have fallen into this belief that if something is not justified with solid evidence then it must be make-believe. See when we feel unhappy or depressed we start to indulge within our conscious reasoning and ignore everything but negativity around us. But what if these feelings are our senses working as a gentle reminder that our position in life may not be right, can it be a slight reminder that maybe it’s time to work on a certain area of our lives or that something must change. Maybe our bodies are reacting in a negative way, just to reminding us to shift our focus into a positive mind-set. This is also a form of intuition or human instinct. To be couscous and willing to open ourselves up, will in time help us all to tap into this amazing sense that we all possess.

We can listen to logic, but we must also listen to our souls as well. Somethings are left unexplained to the conscious mind however the subconscious picks up on all this data that your mind has come to believe is not relevant.

As we have adapted so well into our external status orientated environments, I feel we have distanced ourselves away from listening to our true desirers. Intuition may be many things, it may be higher powers guiding us through the energy of the world, or our subconscious that picks up patterns that seem to be forgotten. It could possibly be the language of our souls or our hidden desires voicing themselves. Whatever this amazing sense is, one thing is for certain! It is just as important as our other five senses.

When I am troubled in making an important decision or I am feeling down, I feel that taking a break and trying to Intune myself with this magical sense can do me wonders. I think in the space of possibility and positivity. There is no wrong choice or bad chess play at hand, there is always so much to be gained.

So I ask next time you feel a little down or are faced with a dilemma that seems all too clustered. Take the time to voice your inner understandings and get a feel for what you earn for without that internal reasoning. Who knows it may just be what you needed all along. After all the one and only Einstein himself credits intuition for much of his success, that’s enough proof for me to trust in the power of Intuition. So listen to your intuition to help support your decisions. Let it help navigate you through a road of uncertainties, challenge your assumptions and enhance that Intuitive intelligence we all possess together.

I hope you enjoyed this week’s post, I would love to hear everyone’s insights on intuition, so please feel free to comment.

Until Next Time, Take Care

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Inspiration, Motivation – Making Dreams Come True!

Have you ever woken up with so much energy, you couldn’t supress it no matter how much you tried. That moment of genius, catching waves of gold as they swish on by your all so busy mind. That moment your inspired by another taking a chance on life just to prove the masses wrong! Yes we are all amazing beyond our greatest imagination. All the worlds’ riches are in reach as long as we stretch our arms high enough to grab them. All we need is laser focus, solid belief and consist motivation to carry our inspirations to reality!

On the other hand I am sure you have also woken up in reverse, feeling drained, un-motivated, allowing life to just take its same old predictable course that we have been on since as far as we can remember. Those Annoying patterns of failure continue to immerge just enough for us to feel the wrath of its force? Truth is these days can make us feel quite Inexistent at times. It’s a real dilemma that’s for sure, nothing pretty about it! However these days of unfortunate waking’s don’t have to remain in a negative mind-set, all we have to do is transition from an un-wanting state to one of possibility and belief. They say once life opens its doors of abundance, it will flow in so quickly you will be left questioning yourself “where have you been all my life”. However in all fairness it is so easy to be discouraged and can feel that we are flowing against the current at times. Gifting nothing but misery in all you attempt to do. Once we get stuck in the belief that life’s doors are so jammed up that even a butterfly living another day has more chance of survival than the blunt and bent chisel we are using in hope to jar open the doors of our fate does, it is easily to see how we can just give up without really trying. It is important to remember that the good and the bad are just mere stepping stones, hidden lessons within a wind of gusts. This is the moment that we must turn to the mirror and ask ourselves, do I have enough faith, do I believe. This is where motivation works wonders.

Now what is motivation you say? I am so glad you asked! Motivation is an extended emotional state that is created once we decide that our inspired cause or goals are possible, even if it seems momentarily at time. Motivation is the feeling of persistence and knowing that you can make anything possible, if you choose to. Motivation is a force of power that keeps the fuel tank always full, and our hidden adrenaline in prime form, it is a state of power.

Do you believe in coincidences or accidents? With every single event and situation there is something to be learned as we have explained in the past, but how you take the experience and choose to incorporate its lessons within your waking reality is what makes all the difference. Inspiration is what your heart earns for, what it desires, it is the belief that what you desire is possible and in arms reach. Motivation on the other hand is the trait that will keep you trying if you believe it for long enough. Proof is all around us, it may be seem scares to see at times, however it’s evident enough to make us believe it is possible. To dream and be inspired means that your idea of possible has resonated somewhere deep within your make up, it’s the art of being in tuned with what is possible and the art of feeling it throughout your spirit, body and soul. To continue to feel your belief in a positive way is what causes motivation, not to be discouraged at the first mishaps that occur. See I believe that mishaps are not accidents or coincidences that cause us to derail at times, instead I fell that they are higher workings protecting us and even serving us as reminders that are; there is either more to be learned, reminding us that we may need to believe more or just that there is something better coming soon enough and it’s not our time just yet.

Many of us keep on life’s course just long enough to believe that this is all we are destined for and build a comfort around it. Just dismissing all the ideas and possibilities that are achievable out of shear fear. However those that take a chance on greatness and really Intune themselves in reaching their goals will be the ones that shape the world and create an impact within others or even the world!

To dream and to believe that anything is possible is the first step to achieving greatness, to catch on to that dream and continue to believe it with every single moment you are blessed is a truly powerful act that continuously pushes us a step closure to making it a reality. The world acts in strange and weird ways we know, but if we never see our dreams through all the way, they will always remain a mystery for us.

Let go of fear and believe that the impossible is just a word to describe something that has not yet been experienced as yet, not that it can’t be.  Play your odds for a big success. Understand that when mishaps occur they are lessons in disguise and blessings, keep positive and keep your burning desire alive, you are sure to create an impression in others with the energy you exude and have them believe as well. Be that positive impact you wish to see in others and see how life rewards your doings. Act as though you have already achieved your goals and you will see how the results will start coming in ever so quickly, it may even through you off balance with excitement.

So what are we waiting for, lets spring out of bed and approach every situation in a positive mind-set, don’t settle for any less than your dreams, because this is your life and you are worth it!

I believe in you!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s post and look forward to all your comments.

Until next time, Take care

Possibilities are Endless, Similarities are Present and Anything is Possible

There is something all so magical about the way we find yourself strolling unexpectedly through unexplored and never seen before territories. Acknowledging hidden alleys, cities, caves, mountains to even fountains, valleys and waters. Taken by each sight and breath we see and breathe. Distracted by nature, manmade structures and truly unique individuals. The question is, when you are captivated by and taken hostage by each and every single moment you experience, what will define you!

It is ever so evident how light we instantly become, whilst effortlessly swifting through life’s path when we decide to just let go and embrace our limitless spirit. When we really start to Intune ourselves within each experience with no expectations, deciding to leave no rock unturned within our discovery’s of travel. Friendships are made, new skill and personal understandings are created to the point of enlightenment for some. We change our approach to life and usually start to be influenced by the new environments around us. But during so many meetings and acquaintances we gain along our travels, one thing is evident. No matter how much we learn and grow into the person we wish to become, we will all have a story to be told. No matter where life takes us and how much we evolve, we never forget our foundations and early learnings. Sure we mature with each moment we are blessed, but there is always a sense of home deep within us, that always remains.

Travel is something that is admired within many of the modern era. Some of us are motivated to travel for the experiences, others for a sense of growth or excitement and others just take advantage in embracing the ease and opportunity’s at hand, and why shouldn’t they right!

Thinking back to my travels and all the abundant experiences I have been blesses, there are a few simple truths I noticed, especially within western societies. That is that we are all battling these same understandings and earning for the same things in one form of another. From city upbringing to the country side many of us are ever so similar than we think. If it is love, family, personal growth, health, carrier, dreams and aspirations they are all one of the same desires we all share.

Let’s face the truth, we have all dealt with our fair share of heartaches, and troubled by the same global issues. Global warming, terrorism, natural disasters, health dilemmas, you name it. We have all either been directly affected or have experienced it second hand through close acquaintance and it sucks!

Many of us have such a hard time relating to people and even relating to ourselves at times. We look at life and others from such an isolated standpoint. Endlessly trying to justify with ourselves on all the little differences we have toward others just to prove how different we may be. “I don’t fit in because of x, y and z,” “it’s for the best, they wouldn’t understand anyway” But truth be told, the more we focus on our differences, the more we drift apart. During our travels we tend to openly embrace the cultures and differences we experience. Maybe it’s because we know it’s only short term, and not forever. But when we return to our routine lives we eventually forget our new understandings and they eventually become just another vivid memory, scrapped aside like the rest of them. We discard the strange and weird in others when we are in the comfort of our routine environments because they just simply don’t fit and present us with too much un-wanting attention.

But the simple truth we so evidently miss or choose to ignore is that we all so similar than me know! This understanding is something that major organisations have recently started honing into and are now using it within their marketing approach and it is working wonders!

Firstly we are all one of the same species – That’s right the human race. With this piece of understanding we are already ever so aligned to each other. We all have two eyes, two arms, a mouth and toes. All our physical functions can do the same as another. We all have the ability to utilize our five senses, smell, touch, sight, sound and taste. We all have a brain, heart, imagination, breathe and all feel emotions. So we already can relate to a majority of others immediately.

We all have the same functions, we all have the ability to understand and experience any emotion that another is currently experiencing, so why don’t we take advantage of all of this! It is like buying the newest iPhone and just using it to make calls without exploring it to its full potential. Call me crazy, but there is so much left un-discovered by many of us!

We focus so much on separation that we lose the meaning of togetherness and let our egos and negative behaviours guide us to the point of isolation. We start to become shy distancing away from the pack, negative experiences and learning phases throughout our lives start to imprint and scare us in all we do. But we are all still learning and these happening should be understood from a learning mind-set and an exploration frame.

That all of us are capable of greatness, good and evil, we can sympathise with anyone we wish to and we can find commonality’s within everybody we meet. Now we are unique and there is no one just like us, but these are our quirks, the golden Easter eggs imbedded within our personalities, they are not a reason to make us feel some sense of superiority or neglect toward other.

Truth be told we are all children that never really grew up, there is no right or wrong. We were never issued any instruction manual on how to behave or how we should undertake our day to day doings, we are just simply learning each and every day by our environments. We are all trying to fit into an ever evolving world.

I recently heard a speech from Mark Zuckerberg the other day, he went on to explain ones purpose and how we immediately expect major corporations to introduce new ideas, never even considering that we could be that change the world is urging for. And as these talks usual do, it got my brain ticking. I started questioning myself that if we are all just learning from the environment around us, what makes any of us different to those of higher power? If we are all children always learning but never actually growing up, then aren’t these individuals of higher power just like you and I? If we are all a species of the human race then are we not all on even playing fields?

Yes it may take more work to get established and become noticed, however this may work within our favour. The trick is to focus on the subtle truths. Small changes and the ever so evident are just as profound as those of impossible. If we are all of similarity, then truth be told, we all respond to the same things like everybody else on a subconscious level.

Facebook, started to connect Harvard, however as Mark Zuckerberg explained, never did it ever occur to him that he would one day connect the world, he started off connecting Harvard but that’s where he thought it would stop, until he eventually connected the entire world! He explained that connecting the world was something he thought major corporations would do, not that he would be the one to actually make it happen and look at him now.

Steve Jobs understood the similarities within man, he made small and subtle advances within all his products and eventually made his name one to be remember for generations to come.

So truth be told, the very morals we hold are not so hard for people to understand, dilemmas we hear that others are facing and battling though can be sympathised by all of us, the strangest ideas we magically envision are not as strange as we think. Awkward moments, shyness are not something that is really holding us back. Possibilities are endless, similarities are present, and anything is possible.

I feel that many of us dismiss the ever so evident only because it seems all too easy and this causes it to become unbelievable. At times I sit and think to myself how past generations, especially those at the earlier stages of our saga achieved the unexplainable, was it all due to the simple understanding of knowing the human functions and potential a little more than we do now, with no distraction from a demanding and ego driven world, maybe they had the time to really understand themselves and what others crave for.

The more we discard the feeling of differences and start to realise our similarities and togetherness, I feel the closer and more loving the world will become. That we are all one of the same, sure we have different methods of achieving what we desire but the functions are one of the same. Understand that the world is not as complicated as we think it may be and if you can truly understand yourself, you have the ability to understand everyone that shares this very gift of life. And never forget, if you can see it then you can create it!

Further if you are interested in watching Mark Zuckerberg’s speech he gave at Harvard, please click the link below.

https://youtu.be/R4tUruNPxQA

I hope you have enjoyed this week’s post, Please feel free to comment and Share.

Until Next Time, Take Care.

The Flawed Approach – Confused Behavioral Patterns

Let’s take a journey down memory lane,  to see how certain situations and behaviors may have subconsciously imbedded within our mind-sets to confuse our ongoing approach when it comes to relationships and perfecting our approach toward our significant others in our current or new relationships. Let’s visit those past relationships, especially those that may have made us feel a little insecure unwanted and unsatisfied. Those experiences that may of left resentment within ourselves, regrets and negativity.

There are generally two approaches and understandings humans take away from any experience. One is positive and the other is negative. Have you ever noticed how certain events can influence the approach we take today within similar occasions? Dependent on the responses we receive from the individuals we are presenting them to. These understandings in time will start to incorporate toward our acceptance criteria that we believe may be desire from others.

Within each relationship we continue to grow our understanding of what is acceptable and how our personality’s and approaches should be altered to suit a more promising outcome. But what I find extremely fascinating, is how much an individual will change their approach due to the experiences and situations they are exposed to during their past relationships or those events of importance within their lives. I’ve seen many individuals change dramatically, altering their approaches, interests, even the way they communicate to the point that we find it hard to believe the person that they once were before. Sure many will say that relationships are a way to grow more mature and learn, which I agree with one hundred percent. However it depends on how the lessons are internally understood.

First of all we are all unique, we all react and respond in different ways. Where it gets tricky is when we experience an amazing relationship with a partner that has completely swept us off our feet, which causes us to adjust all our personality traits in order to secure that unique relationship. We open up and genuinely start to express ourselves in all different ways. The problem lays when the receiving party disregards our efforts toward certain situations, which then causes us to second guess our understanding. This then starts the altering process that makes us change, even in the most subtle of ways. We notice a change in the dialogue we speak, our communication patterns solely because the receiving party does not approve of our previous behaviors. See we start to adjust our approach to suit a unique point of view and acceptance. The key word here is Unique! The hardest thing is when these relationships end and we continue to incorporate these once accepted behavioral patterns solely because we believe these are the traits that are respected to attract a similar person that we once fell in love with.

In reverse our prior partners will understand the less attractive behaviors we performed during the partnership (or they believed were a flawed approach) that don’t resonate with them and dismiss all future relationships on these traits alone, reading ones entire character solely on a behavior that they have come to believe as negative. Many individuals will continue to initiate new relationships with individuals that resemble past relationships that had failed in the past. It’s fascinating to see how once an emotionally attached relationship has ended, the individual that felt as though the relationship ended prematurely and was not entirely ready to move on will be attracted to a similar type of suitor. Similarities may appear in appearance, culture, career or even interests. See the person that has not entirely accepted the breakup will try to find a suitor that is similar solely because they have associated the understanding of togetherness and love with this type of person and come to believe that a similar individual will have the same traits as their previous spouse. With that said if it was a negative experience then we will usually avoid these sort of traits or even be cautious around them. The problem with this understanding is that we are all unique and nobody is alike another. Sure there may be resemblances however due to ones upbringing and personal experiences they will vary dramatically. We even start to focus on subtle signs that we have come to believe are warnings of a similar event taking place. However how can it be the same when we are dealing with a completely new individual? Many times we will even evoke the responses we want through our behavioral patterns only so we can justify our own egos and make us believe that we were right all along.

The troubling thing about this approach is that some of us will incorporate the so called strengths of our past spouse or negative behaviors “Things our spouse used against us to make them seem more superior or give them the upper hand” and transfuse this behavior within the new partnership. Thinking it will be a way of us to secure our position and a way to avoid further hurt. We even notice our previous so called flawed approach within our past relationship and dismiss any kind of behavior within our new spouse, forgetting the fundamentals of why they may be behaving in such a way. Eventually we become the person they were hurt by without even realizing it!

We are all unique, we all have our quirks. The way we present ourselves is our own understanding and way of showing the world who we are. We shouldn’t dismiss these positives we have in order to seem presentable toward another. Yes sometimes we can be overly expressive or overly talkative, but in the same respect we can be overly loving and positive as well. These surface level understandings we use to interoperate another are very limiting pieces of information. Now there are always things that we can reflect upon in time that we honestly believe require a bit of work and this is all part of growing and learning. If we honestly feel that there are areas of ourselves that requires work, I really do encourage this understanding. But it is important not to change our internal happiness to the point that we are constantly second guessing everything we are doing. We must be ourselves, it should be effortless. What one may find as annoying or immature another will find as amazing and perfect. We so often change our understanding to suit people we admire or even obsess over to seem normal and accepted. But as we know there is no such thing as normal! We are all unique with our own approach toward the world. What is normal anyway? Normal is the act of a certain behavior that is believed to be acceptable to your current environmental or social surroundings, that’s all!

It seems after an emotional relationship has ended we start to construct the Great Wall of China within our hearts and defend it at all costs! We start to assess all our past relationships and events with a bias minset and continue to add to the criteria of what we want in another, until our perfect partner is inexistent. To be committed to a relationship we must rid the ego and understand our worries and discomforts. Most importantly understand where they stem from. Are they from a negative experience or from a positive one? Realize the things that we really appreciated and incorporate it within our responses to others. Rid the negativity and rid the expectations we may have and let it flow naturally.

The behavioral patterns we come resented in past relationships should be a learning experience toward the types of behaviors we wish to dismiss within ourselves. We should understand what did and what did not compliment those experiences. Some of us confuse negative behaviors as a sense of strength, reminiscing of how these our previous flawed approaches affected us within the relationship. It is important to remember that these flawed approaches may not transmit the same response in another completely new individual.

Understand that each and every person is unique and different, we subconsciously associate appearances, culture, behaviors and even dialog toward events and individuals that remind us of past events when truth be told there is really no resemblance at all.

Understand that the behaviors we have expressed in the past which were acceptable or even dismissed will receive a different response toward a new individual. Remember that new relationships are a new slate and are a new beginning of getting to know someone and for them to get to know you from the very beginning. We must all have an open mind and experience the relationship for what it is in a completely new way. Really understand yourselves and what you respond to and don’t forget to honor the approach that makes you happy.

Once we understand this teaching we can really hone into the quality’s we admire in others. It is important to really assess if these qualities are something we genuinely admire internally or if they are a quality that we have come to think we admire only because we are associating it to another. Further we can assess our approach toward new relationships and see how we have grown our understanding of who we are and also assess where we may be substituting elements of our happiness only to seem more presentable toward others.

Relationships and all life’s events present an opportunity for us to learn more about ourselves. So next time you see a behavior that makes you feel discomfort, question where it stems from and understand what response it resonates within you. See if it may be a bias understanding caused by a previous event and perfect your approach. Let’s learn and Grow in all life challenges together.

I hope you enjoyed this post, Please feel free to comment.

Until Next Time, Take Care

Relationship Roles- Behind Enemy Lines

Early on within a relationship we start assessing our potential suitors in every way imaginable, to make things even worse we start assessing them under the microscope. What one may consider small talk in order to fill the gaps of silence and minimize their uncomforted, others will interoperate in a completely reverse understanding by analyzing each and every sentence to make an assumption of who we really are! After a substantial amount of time within a relationship we continue to learn more about who our partners really are and just as we thought we knew everything there was to know, Boom! it all starts crumbling down.

Let’s fast forward now, assuming we have now past the attraction stage flown though the honeymoon phase, somehow crawled through the cluster of doubts and second guessing that start to surface, climbed over the early commitment phase to now we find ourselves swimming in the oceans of love and acceptance, which can be a constant battle of tides as we all know. Every relationship evolves and it is required to evolve for us to grow, the problem is when the relationship evolves from two separate mind-sets opposed to one. Let’s explore the struggles of an ongoing relationship that has suddenly taken a detour, separating two individual that were once raising the same flag into complete strangers trying to defend their territory. Let’s go behind enemy lines!

Personalities can be quite tricky, there is something fascinating about the way we subconsciously take on these so called roles in a relationship over time. The most amazing thing about it is that we are usually the last to realize our behaviors.  We are constantly trialing new behavioral traits all the time, some are seasonal where others come to stay. The ones that come to stay eventually merge within our daily routines, infect our personalities and appear within our communication patterns without us even realizing. We come to believing that these behaviors are acceptable and a necessity to keep our relationships in check and yes, we eventually practice them to perfection.

Within a relationship couples generally take on roles and responsibilities of who they are within the partnership and what is expected of them, missing the true fundamentals that had blossomed the relationship from the very beginning. We start to change our outlook on the relationship and eventually start to look at it as a second career. We all know that relationships require work, but it shouldn’t be this hard right!

Many relationship roles start fazing in and out dependent on the issues that arise within the partnership. Many of these roles are caused from a frustrated and confused state of mind. Some take on the parental role, making sure they keep their significant other in line by setting strict rules in order to encourage a change. Others take on the over protective role by consistently checking in with their partners to the point that their caring nature is misunderstood for clinginess. The problem with these self-assured roles we allocate toward ourselves is the effect it plays in the background and the hidden messages we are conveying within its delivery. We start to focus on the tasks at hand instead of the cause and response. Which can be very damaging within long term relationships. Others surrender to the potential of drama and continue to let things slip away in a way that projects themselves as inexistent just to avoid any form of conflict, thinking that they are more mature in doing so. However the more we continue to do these actions the more we reassure that this sort of behavior is acceptable. In other words we become predictable, we continue to damage our self-respect and self-confidence. We put our relationships at risk without us even knowing.

As humans we all urge to be understood, appreciated and listened to. There is nothing more disrespectful than another shutting us down and making us feel that our views are unexpected. In time this also breaks down our self-confidence and self-respect for ourselves and our partners. We start surfacing feelings of disappointment and frustration which causes us to act on pure emotion of the moment trying to defend our persona, which may come off us selfish or even childlike. We silence the understanding of others and how they may be feeling by creating a tunnel vision and a sense of inner war against each other. We sure do keep them guessing! Truth is when we fall victim to these patterns we continue to damage our relationships and cause boundaries to be crossed to a point of no return. We say things out of spite, confusion and anger which are usually an over exaggerated expression of our disappointments. This is caused by a years of suppression. We cluster our thoughts and build up walls within ourselves that Hercules himself couldn’t tear down. We continue to poison our understanding in the relationship by over analyzing sentences and expressions, treading on very thin and shallow water trying not to disturb the current. We make false expectations, unrealistic criteria’s that if we were to express to another they would probably call us crazy. We are all guilty of this one! In time we put so much pressure on the relationship it starts to become something more than a chore. It becomes another piece of evidence toward our disappointment that effects our entire outlook of life. A continuous chain reaction of negativity.

Our relationships start to become a tug a war marathon, deep down we want things to change however due to a feeling of disconnect we fear our next move. Others take on revenge tactics in order to evoke a sympathetic response and have our significant other realize that they may be in the wrong. The only problem here is that we are not mind readers and this behavior is interoperate in a negative mind-set.  There are even times that our significant others may go out of their way to do something special for us that we deeply admire and appreciate, however as a result we disqualify their efforts duly because they had made us feel that our efforts in the past were not appreciated. We try to evoke the same response in them in hope to teach them a lesson. Eventually our significant other feels that there is no winning and eventually dismisses these gestures for future use, thinking that it would be a waste of time. Some of us may even give up on the relationships at hand believing that it has become stale and eventually stop expecting so much and dismiss all efforts/thoughts of ever reviving them. It becomes a lost cause! We wait for our partners to do something amazing, just to show to us how they feel. However they fear the response they will receive by us because they have come to understand that we have both become two different individuals, fighting for different outcomes.

Truth is relationships are hard, however the question we should be asking ourselves is, was it hard in the very beginning. I know many will say, “It was different before, we have a fluster of hormones, excitement and lust present. Now we are just so use to each other, it’s not the same.” This is where we are wrong.

We have assessed over the years what is acceptable and what may be frowned upon within each other. We fear that we may come off as needy, over caring or rude and self-cantered if we were to completely open up. We fear that this behavior may cause another un-wanting element to the relationship. We fear of overdoing it and be made the fool. It is a two way street and it can be quite difficult when you can’t see eye to eye.

We eventually start living a one sided relationship, an internal war against two people not trying to win but to defend themselves. We start to in vision everything from a single frame of mind with no sense of togetherness. From the side line looking in, it seems as though both parties are continuously prepping themselves to reach a point that they can call the quits to the relationship but never do. They have dismissed all thoughts of reuniting and creating peace within each other. Thinking that it is too hard to revive a love that had once blossomed. All their actions are assessed from a bias stand point and they are aware of it. They start living a solo life within a partnership, giving each other more space than is required, sleeping in separate beds etc. Actions to further validate the state they are experiencing within the relationship. Avoiding unwanted conflict toward the things that should be shared and challenged together. They even start to create a strategic mind sets and routines to avoid conflict and drama which all put strain on a relationship and further reassures this misalignment within them.

After doing these routines for a long time, these behaviors and understandings eventually become a habit, their minds are influenced by a state of panic and they suddenly surrender. Couples may say things like, “I feel as though my partner does not understand me anymore” truth is that many of them don’t want to be understood, because then it will put more fault on themselves if we were to split. See everyone wants to take away the blame so they are not at fault however they are never really open to change and consideration to actually making it work. They have already made up their minds!

We fall into roles within relationships all the time, we all do. Some fall into more abundant roles where other fall into the negative ones. We start to compensate in areas the other lacks or believes they lack. This is a way of trying to teach our significant other to change their habits. In the interim we are conveying that our partners are not good enough and that we are unsatisfied with their efforts.

No one is perfect, relationships are hard, but we must remember the fundamentals of a partnership. It is the art of working together, merging our strengths and weaknesses in order to merge as one. It is a ritual that symbolizes togetherness, a way of complimenting each other and acceptance. To be open, loved and care for one another. It needs compassion, sympathy and understanding.

One thing we must understand about humans is that when really want something that bad, we do let go of our egos and commit to do all it takes to get what we want when we feel confident toward it. We become vulnerable and outgoing when there is a chance that we can get what we want. Someone that falls into the pattern of “why do I always have to be the one” is acting from fear. Now if you are the one that always tries to fix the relationship and you are genuinely satisfied with everything you have done and by this I am saying that we have expressed your intentions openly, put yourself on the line and are actively trying to make it work, but your significant other is not supporting you and assisting you. Then it may be that they have made up their minds up and this is where you should be openly expressing your true feelings to one another. Like I have explained in my previous post “Battle of Tides – https://simplisticinsights.wordpress.com/2017/02/21/battle-of-tides-eliminating-all-future-regrets/” We all have the right of free will. It may be better to call the quits under these circumstances, but this decision is yours to make and express toward your significant other.

Many of us within these circumstances seem to dance around the fire because we fear the unknown and to be honest we fear the effort that is required. However trust me, there is only good things to be gained once we commit to working on our relationships.

Pay attention the next time you are feeling uncertain and acting solely on your emotions, understand the elements that trigger your responses. Realize that instead of focusing on the tasks at hand, really understand the situation and what the underlining intentions are. We carry so much grief and so much disappointments around with us, that it is impossible to suppress a world of negativity for very long. Eventually the pressure will explode and cause damage in un-wanting areas. It is like a jar, the more it fills the quicker it starts overfilling flooding areas of our lives that were meant to remain dry without us even knowing it. We express our disappointments in all different events and setting which only adds to the confusion present and further poisoning the approach of our significant others. We have them thinking that their abundant behaviors are unwanted due to past disappointments that have occurred. In return they feel that their efforts are no accepted in the way they were hoping for us to respond. In turn they label this approach as unacceptable and never try it again!

We can always relight that feeling of love and togetherness, there is always hope.

It first starts with an open understanding from both parties, this conversation is a must! There must be an agreement from both parties and a consistent approach for change. Pay attention to your approach together in different settings and start to make a list of the things that annoy you or make you feel discomfort. Understand what your strengths and weaknesses are and compensate toward your approach. Work together to perfect your flaws and in return you will both learn something more about each other in the process. Question each other and put a pause on the events that start to get out of hand, then break it down together. Make it fun by introducing code words and quirky names with each other, get involved and participate as a team. Be open to criticism and accept the response your partner gives you, understand why they feel the way they do, surrender to your ego and share your internal feelings openly. You must become vulnerable. Question the things that may seem not so genuine within your partner’s expectations, learn to compromise and sympathize. Look at your partner the way you looked at them when you first fell in love. Soul gaze and experience that genuine feeling of togetherness, that feeling of longing and knowing that you will never let the relationship drift this far away again. Express your feelings, appreciate them and most importantly listen to one another!

By acknowledging the areas that require work and agreeing to work on them is half the battle. Let’s embrace this love again and work together to further enrich our lives for the better.

I hope you have enjoyed my post this week, Please feel free to comment and express your insights.

Until Next Time, Take Care.

 

 

 

Personality Phases – Noticing the Hidden Apostrophes

The human race is unpredictable, unfair and hurtful, but in all fairness can be loving, caring and beautiful. It’s funny how we can know someone for a lifetime but not really know them at all, wouldn’t you agree! We all know some what about everything, but little of all.

We get caught within this all knowing, thinking we understand another better than they know themselves, but truth be told we are only privileged to see the sides of an individual that they are willing to show us.

Life has a way of getting into routine as they say, we set our ways and usually continues on a path of consistency. We settle into new experiences and if we feel satisfied enough to continue on their paths routines are created. Our human interactions are not too far from this mark either, we find common ground with individuals and set our standards of conduct within that relationship usually early on. We test the waters of acceptance by evaluating the receiving responses that further reassure the expectations we expect from another. We come to believe that one is to act and react in a certain way and subconsciously create a baseline or so called contractual agreement within ourselves about how another should act.

The truth is we are chameleons within all life’s events. Little by little we grow and subconsciously adjust our ways to suit the situations at hand. Can I ask, are you the same person you were five years ago? Have you changed your outlook on life recently or grown? Do you act differently around your parents than you do with your friends, significant other or how you conduct yourself throughout your professional life? See we change the masks of our personality more than we realize.

But change is such a strong and misleading word, don’t you think! Yes we grow, yes we learn and that’s how we evolve and so do our personalities. We can learn a lot of wondrous things about ourselves and others within each and every circumstance we’re privileged. Many times we experience a different angle to another’s personality and instantly we start to reassess everything that we have come to understand, confusion strikes midnight and we are left with this uncomforting feeling towards them.

As humans, there are many faces to our personalities that we may never experience nor understand. Dependent on the situation and stage within our lives can cause us to act and even react to situations in an entirely different manner. As each and every situation we are faced daily, there can be many element and influences at play. Be our thoughts, emotional state, past experiences, or future projection, all these unforeseen elements will shape the actions we take within that very moment and dependent of the ratios and ingredients mixed together, can create an unpredictable response. It’s like baking a cake, so many ingredients can be used, but a poor choice can turn a masterpiece into a disaster!

Unfortunately we are the first to change our perspective of another so quickly due to an emotional event that has taken place. I have seen marriages, friendships and even family’s fall apart due to the slightest happenings and ever the major ones. That one poor choice can make a fairy tale relationship into that dreaded nightmare. We tend to anchor the last emotional event that’s occurred to highlight and even summarize our entire relationship, forgetting all the positives that have been shared in the past. (Suddenly a once called friend becomes a stranger in our eyes and labelled an Enemy.)

We use harsh words to justify ones actions that haven’t rested well with us, calling them such names as backstabbers or two faced individuals, but how can we be so quick to judge another when we don’t understand all the hidden influences that have contributed to this misfortune. Many times the individual at fault may not even understand why they have reacted in the way they did, it was simply just a confusion of subconscious influences that shaped the event.

When we are dealt with an unpleasant situation or event that has had us questioning our relationship, we must understand that a friendship is on the line and can be lost. We must look at the situation and understand all the influences at play. How would we feel if we had done that very mistake? How would we react to that certain situation with the exact same influences that have driven our friend to such extremes? Ask yourself, can this event strengthen your relationship if you were to save it? Are they worth a second chance in your eyes?

Below I have provided a few short stories to summary ones thoughts of confusion that have shaped an unfortunate event to take place.

Flash Judgement

Let’s say you’re in the hour of peak trying to get home after a long and stressful day. Instantly you are cut off from what seems to be a carless driver, “What a Hoon!” you yell in anger caused by your state of shock and disbelief. As you speed up to approach the driver’s window, you come to discover a nurse comforting a man in distress and in serious need of medical treatment. Your perception changes immediately!

Years of Suppression

Jaimi was a compassionate soul, never judgemental and always took life’s happenings with a grain of salt. “I am 25 years of age, I am not perfect but the art of perfection comes in time” she would constantly say to her closest of friends. Jaimi was a single parent, she lived downtown in a studio apartment with an open layout. It was nothing to be proud of, however she strived to make a home out of a square rundown catastrophe. Her home was clean and neat, polite yet petite and as Jaimi was a perfectionist this was a way for her to really show off her artistic side. Jaimi had her fair share of struggle earlier on in life, and on the surface it seemed she was in control and nothing seemed to shake her much. Her heart was taken young by her high school prince charming. Once her mother was diagnosed with severe breast cancer when Jaimi was at the age of 14, Tyson was there to comfort her and eventually this caring bond blossomed into what should have been a marriage of the century, however this was not the case. Their marriage lasted just shy of four years. Jaimi thought they were growing closer together after the birth of Annabella, but Tyson was distancing away. The social pressures of parenthood were weighing heavily on Tyson, but he was too proud to admit his defeat to his dearest Jaime and walked out one night never to return. The marriage ended soon after autumn three days before their fourth anniversary. Jaimi took the guilt as a fault of her own and remains single to this day. Jaimi was left alone, yet she stayed positive throughout this time of struggle, as thou it seemed. Two year have passed on and from the surface Jaimi seems as charismatic and positive than ever, but this façade she shows the world has an uncomfortable pillow of comfort that she rest her head on each night she tries to sleep.

A few days ago Jaimi’s closest friend arrived at their usual lunch date just around the corner from Jaimi’s apartment, which Jaimi saves all her loose change from the alphabet soups she buys Anabelle every week to spoil herself a skinny latte. However when her friend Samantha called her that Thursday, Jaime had reacted in a completely different manner that had Samantha questioning their friendship. “Jaime where are you, I have been waiting for 15mins already, it’s not like you to ever be late” she replied to the answering tone as it went to the beep.  Ten minutes passed and Samantha had grown frustrated feeling used, thinking to herself “Jaime should have called to tell me she couldn’t make it, instead of me sitting here waiting like a friendless disappointment” as she sat in the busy dinner all alone feeling insecure. Samantha was the jealous type and felt very insecure about herself, it seemed that all her friend had been married early on and she was destined to live alone. She found comfort with Jaimi as she was never judgmental and always provided Samantha with the reassurance she needed constantly. After fifteen minutes the waiter advised Samantha to leave if she was not prepared to purchase anything. Samantha grew even more frustrated with Jaimi and felt betrayed, “I was made out to be a loner, a complete embarrassment” she muttered under her breath as she stormed outside. Samantha in all her rage decided to call Jaime again to express her disappointments.

Meanwhile on the other side of town Jaime was not having the most of what was meant to be a relaxing day. Annabelle was up crying all night and coming down with fever. Further she received a call earlier in the day by her employer advised that her pay wouldn’t be realized this week, as they were changing their finance firm and outsourcing the procurement department. These circumstances affected Jaime in a negative way as she was living on a pay to pay week, and kept her daily routines religious. As Jaimi woke earlier this morning after her scattered three hours of sleep, she wasn’t feeling the best. She would usually suppress her passed emotions well but today they were starting to surface, it may have been due to the lack of sleep she had or just the underlying fact that she had tried to keep these feelings suppressed for so long and grew tired of covering them under this façade of perfection. To be completely honest Jaime forgot about her weekly plans with Samantha, as she had also forgotten to charge her cell phone the following night which is why she had missed Samantha’s call prior.  As Jaimi realized her phone was empty she quickly rushed over to the counter to commence the charge, whist heading to the counter she slipped on a small puddle of milk that Annabella had spilt seconds before. The breaking point was close for Jaimi as she took a few deep breathes and said to herself “Stay Positive”. As soon as Jaime finally had enough charge to open her cell phone, she was surprised to see an incoming call from Samantha. As she answered the phone she instantly felt guilt towards her forgetfulness, however that quickly changed as she was amazed with the response Samantha had given her.

“How dare you make a fool out of me miss!” Samantha roared “I am so terribly sorry babe, I have had an awful day” responded Jaime, confused by the way Samantha was acting as she had never spoken to her in this way before. “You better be sorry, you call yourself a friend. How would you like it if I did that to you” responded Samantha clearly upset. Jaimi felt an unexplainable overwhelming feeling of what one could only explain as anger, disappointment, hurt, fear, guilt and about two years of bottled up emotions. She finally snapped!  “Excuse me, calm down! I have never treated you with such disrespect before. My day has been one out of the pits of hell and for you to act in such a manner is disrespectful” She yelled. The arguments grew as the insults were returned with each statement that was shared. You could feel the years of a friendship being damaged. Finally Samantha hung up the phone and since that day the friendship has never been the same again.

Jaime had never spoken in such a way to Samantha before, however all the external influences and internal disappointments in her life had exploded within a two minute call from Samantha. If Samantha offered a bit of compassion or suppressed her disappointments this story could have played out in a completely different way. Samantha and Jaimi still talk however this encounter has both scared them with regret and guilt, but most of all poisoned their perception of one another!

Small and major life happening change our perception in so many ways than it would for another, what one can cope with another would fall. We forget to assess all life’s influences when they are really needed. We get into this undiscovered or overanalyzed belief that people are two faced, not genuine and even deceitful without really exploring the reasons why. Instead we take these happenings on a face value forgetting to shed the light on all the curves and edges present. We like to believe that we know how we would act or react to curtain situations and quick to judge another without ever realizing the hidden letters substituted by a simple apostrophe and as we all know a simple apostrophe can change an entire understanding!

You hear stories of others doing trouble things or un-foreseen actions and we are the first to judge, only because we don’t understand the circumstances at hand and left interoperating it on a bias and limited understanding. Others may fall victim to seduction, fear, and even pride not to mention drugs and alcohol which causes us to act and react to circumstances in unexpected and explainable ways.

There can be hundreds of situations that present themselves in the same outfit, but dependent on all the supporting elements and influences can play out in a trillion different ways. So before we are quick to let a friendship vanish prematurely remember all your past memory’s you had once shared. Understand that they are still the same person and that they have not just magically changed overnight, it is just another angle of their personality’s you have got to see. Let these happenings help you to further understand them. Remember to treat everyone in a way you wish to be treated in return. We all fall victim to mistakes and things we aren’t so proud of, thou to forgive and forget can set us free and be the salvation to a fairy tale relationship that it once was before. We all make mistakes as we are not perfect, after all we are only human and it is all part of our experience.

That the purpose of this message is not to justify the regrets one makes, but to guide one to understand that there are many elements at play. For what we interpreted on a surface level, can be deceiving to an untrained eye. That evil does exist but not in the human skin, as we are made upon the image of all that is good so for that we shall learn to forgive. Humans are sensitive creatures and easily lead astray, but not by nature that has blessed our days, instead mislead by the confusions we gain along the way.

We all know the relationships that serve us wonders, and the ones of regret. So I ask that we evaluate our relationships even when their gloom, but don’t let the happenings of the day set you aloof. At the very least lets forgive and forget to let the troubles rest and we shall set them free to live in peace.

I hope you have enjoyed this post, I look forward to all your comments.

Until Next Time, Take Care For Now.

 

Life is not as it seems

Verbal Silence- It’s not always in the words we say!

Her eyes had a distant glow of hope with a twist of excitement whispering to my soul “Trust me I am more than just a pretty face”. She was wearing a luscious red dress that seemed as though it was tailored to suit her well-proportioned physic, outlining all her curves and well defined body structure.

Her long dark hair had a slight curl that reminded me of the oceans of a hidden paradise yet to be discover. My heart started to ticker and a sense of butterfly’s started surfacing, I could feel the warm sensation of life starting to rise until my cheeks became bright pink. Startled for words I managed to release a slight “hi” whist my mind was in overdrive trying to untangle a range of words weaved between hello and Ahhh, I was speechless.

She leaned over my right shoulder dangling her fingertips on the lower side of my thigh, as my body went into an instant state of paralyzation . She whispered “I tend to have that effect on people” and disappeared into the crowd of a thousand people, never to be seen again.

Well, we have all heard the expressions “Actions speak louder than words” and “pictures hold more than a thousand words”. The truth behind these statements couldn’t of been said any clearer, let’s face it, after all what are words without expression? Their just a bunch of letters right!

We take for granted how important nonverbal communication really is, the subconscious effects that make us respond the way we do to certain individuals and situations.

Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the well-known author of the silent Messages, explains that only 7% of all human interaction is interpreted though verbal communication the remaining 93% is made up of Body language (55%) and tone of voice (38%)

The story above gives an in-depth description of how one responds to an event that has taken his senses captive, the naturally subconscious process that has triggered infatuation from within and the process that is activating these responses.

Many like myself, at one stage of life have had the belief that all human interactions are based solely on verbal communication, and that verbal communication is the cause of such responses and perceptions of another or situation. However like all species in this reality, human’s initial communication method is also through the senses.

In a time before language and arts were created, all human communication was nonverbal. Every message was delivered through body language and human instincts. We tend to forget this ever so often. Spend 5 minutes with your beloved pet, and you will see the emotions they are feeling solely on the body language they give off.

Once we master this technique we can truly start to become more present within our interactions and tailor our outcomes in a way that advantages us to better suit our motives. Further we will also be inviting our audience to experience an unforgettable opportunity to explore an in-depth understanding of your internal message, not to mention all the un-wanting confusion that can be avoided.

We all know the messages we want to convey, even before we start an interaction. However when it comes to the crunch, we tend to shy away from them with overanalyzing the unknowns. The common misleading beliefs of “How will others react, what are they thinking, will I trigger an un-wanting emotion that’s not intended.” all take the stage within our interactions to keep us forever holding back and suppressing the importance we wish to convey.

We focus so much on the words, we forget about the persona were giving off. See when we over think the dialog, many times it causes us to stutter and leave a lot of unsaid words within the process. We give the impressions of uncertainty and second guessing to leave the other parties confused, left to untangle our true intentions.

I found when we simply relax and express our body language within our conversations, it gives a powerful yet unforgettable experience towards ourselves and our audience.

That all instincts are natural and subconscious, our body language will naturally react to the emotions we are feeling within, and project them towards our audience, if we let it!

An amazing practice I use in my daily life, that helps my interactions be as genuine as I intend them to be, is to consistently stay present to the moment.

I allow my internal feelings to surface and experience them for what they are. I surrender to the moment and let my senses guide my persona. By ignoring the ego that consistently self invites itself to be herd, you too can escape from the internal dilemmas that try to justify your every move. Allow the experience of each situation to be genuinely felt from the inside, surrender to the moment and let it take you on the amazing journey that’s intended.

Taking a walk in nature can do wonders, to hear the birds sing in the distance, and feel the wind blow through your skin, to laugh out loud when you feel the urge to and allow yourself to smile when someone compliments you. Welcome new experiences with open arms and embrace the one they call you, seize the moment and be rewarded with the full platinum experience. Who knows you may even discover new sides of you personality that you never knew existed.

It amazing how a few minor adjustments to our appearance can make a world of change. If that’s going for a job interview, a date or even a formal event, dressing appropriately towards the event and keeping ourselves well-groomed and presentable, can create a lasting impression.

Another great exercise that can be fun, is to watch movies of a desired persona you wish to learn. Like real life, we subconsciously feed of individuals that intrigue us and eventually captivate their styles in one way or another towards our experience. It works the same way as studying characters on the screen, eventually you will adapt your own unique and true style within your life. This technique can work wonders, it may even be a life changer, you will be surprised with the results.

So let life take you on the journey that is intended, surrender to all the feelings and emotions that are present and embrace your true colors that make you the amazing person you are intended to be.

Please feel free to leave your comments.

Until next time Take care.

Behind the eyes of the applauded – Don’t let it catch you by Surprise!

Life seems more complex now than ever, don’t you think!

Why is it that we still feel so isolated in a time that the world is so advanced, we tend to shy away from the world ever so often. Taking shelter in our rooms just to over submerge ourselves with work, to make the days seem effortless and inexistent. It seems that any free time we are granted is wasted by escaping reality to stare at a square on the wall. Even when we are presented the opportunity to go out to social events, we tend to sit down and give our full attention towards our cell phones for the entire sitting! Living a so called virtual reality opposed to enjoying each and every moment in the company of our loved ones.

Did we simply just miss the mark on this one or have we just adapted so well towards a continuous routine of emotionless happiness. We have so many choices now than ever before, that we tend to become self-hypnotized and continually agonize ourselves over analyzing everything, instead of accepting what we have and being grateful for it!

Our children go to school, just to notice that other children have better things than they do, as a result they learn jealousy, “why do they have that and we don’t”. Others start participating in the art of approval seeking and egotistic behaviors. Bullying others trying to supplement a false sense of superiority and acceptance. Measuring up to a social norm that is consistently being fed to them via a negatively influenced misconception of empowerment. We pay less attention to our families and children, caught up in the rat race we call society. Living up to false standards of happiness and achieving wealth. We become so focused and develop a so called tunnel vision towards achieving our goals, that we lose sight on the basic necessities of life… Love.

We tend to complain when our children start their mischief behavior. Mixing with wrong crowds as a direct result of our negligence, a desperate cry for help in hope to acquire our attention and approval. We continue to expose the world of illusion onto them, being the television or social media in hope that it will keep them occupied until we complete our days’ work, which never seems to end. They learn directly from this world of illusion, accepting all the negative behaviors exposed towards them tailored for entertainment, opposed to real life lessons and experiences. And who can blame them, how are they to know the difference!

Instead of us embracing our children, to teach them lessons of the past, right from wrong, have them contribute to the household and work together. We substitute our ever so limited schedules and leave it up to the world of entertainment to mold their minds and life lessons that will carry them throughout their entire lives! A crucial learning cycle we have all gone through!

Our marriages start to fall apart, due to a lack of communication, affection and quality time. Have we really forgotten to communicate, or have we just chosen the easiest route of escape in this exact moment of time.

We continue to hold on to all the little things and let them build up, simply because it would take too much time explaining, not to mention the predicament we would be left dealing with. But Little by little they fill to the brim, until we cannot contain them no more. And like a disease it starts to spreads and infects our perception on the other person. We forget to show our gratitude towards our significant others, and express how we truly feel towards them. We become so distant and cold towards emotions, believing that they are nothing more than a liability and serve no purpose within the world we are now living in. Eventually we adapt a “me against the world” attitude, which will eventually leave us lonely and questioning our ways in time to come!  Always leaving the important things till tomorrow, forgetting that tomorrow never comes. However in time these egotistic behaviors eventually take the throne of our perception that mold our realities and suppress any behaviors that threaten its position.

We revert to our cell phones for a quick dopamine fix, with any spare time we get. Just to escape from reality, but even that world is over rated. Children seeking acceptance and validation through social media platforms, continuously checking for likes and followers trying to fit into a world that has been off the rails from the very beginning. No wonder depression has inclined dramatically over the past decade! We have all become addicted, slaves of our egos.

Our children take favor towards idols presented on the screen, and story lines that has been written entitled to trigger certain emotions that leaves us intrigued and wanting more. That we choose to accept this over annualized plot as real life, and learn these so called “life lessons” from the screen of illusion until we subconsciously reinforce the truth, and as a result those are the emotions we feed off!

We shy away from the world, when it becomes too hard and confusing, escaping reality in hope that it will all be forgotten. However in time, this will just reinforce the satisfaction of running away in a time of need. What lessons are we teaching the young, we must never forget, that we are the role models of the future!

We have been submerged within this reality of social validation from the second we are born, and many of us fear to question the norm, as we may be criticized over it! We as humans fall victim ever so often to what is expected of us, but can I ask, what is normal?

That normal is a common belief a specific social circle share, it reinforces your connection towards the pack! Many of us don’t even question the behaviors we adapt on a social network. That we suppress our statements and leave our voices un heard, in fear that we will be criticized or labelled weird or even delusional. But are you the one that is delusional or is it the society we are living in! That what is normal to you is not what is normal for me, and it is extremely visible throughout world cultures and traditions.

What we must remember is, what are the reasons that are driving us to achieve our greatness within the first place? Is it to provide a better future for your family, or to be financially independent? Is it for love and acceptance, or is it for happiness! We should always revisit our motivations and justify our commitments. Some of us are too so focused on achieving our goals that we tend to make the very thing we wanted to strengthen worse. It is always a good reminder to revisit our initial motives and make sure we are still on track, that it is so easy to lose sight of them.

A practice that serves me wonders is to keep a reminder close by, if it’s a picture of your family on your desk at work to remind you that you may be working too much. It will serve as a gentle reminder that it may be time to go home and spend some quality time with the family that is well over due. If your goal is it to be financially free then it may serve you wonders to spend a weekend treating yourself to an enjoyable experience. It may just reinforce a stronger desire of motivation within you, and further remind you why you are doing all this in the first place.

Also make sure you keeping on track with your health, ever so often, life becomes so hectic, we forget about ourselves. Because at the end of the day, what are all the riches in the world worth, if we can’t enjoy them!

Make sure to spend your time wisely and in the company of the people that matter the most, doing the things you love. Because after all life is not forever, hence why we should make the most of it every single moment we have! It’s a privilege to live let’s all embrace our gift, one moment at a time.

That life is amazing, but don’t let it catch you by surprise at the finish line.

Please feel free to leave your comment, I wish you all a wonderful day.

Until next time, Take Care for Now!

 

 

 

 

 

Fight Or Flight -The Illusion OF Anxiety

Throughout history millions have undertaken their own personal endeavors of self-realization, and even after three million years of existence the human makeup is something that still remains a complete mystery.

This phenomenon of self-discovery has taken form in many trails from personal journeys, religion to science and philosophy. And still, we haven’t even started to scratch the surface of understanding. If we only knew what powers we actually possessed, and how to properly use them, one could only imagine Endless opportunities that are instantly presented.

The Human race possesses the world most elite technologies and systems within its creation. It has been witnessed throughout evolution, that the human race continuously becomes more aware and advanced. Adapting and cultivating such innovation to suit an ever changing world, with the exact same resources our ancestors had. We already possess everything we need, within!

Ancient scriptures throughout the world describe of the enlightenment many have experienced. The possibilities and the flaws it can bring, due to an abundant or limited understanding. But like all divine understandings and power, when in the wrong hands of knowing, can be catastrophic far beyond measure! Let’s face it, it’s not like we were given an instruction manual on how to be human!

Many individuals have expressed their struggles towards anxiety to me, seeking advice and guidance towards the matter. Anxiety affects 1 in 13 humans worldwide. It is a common experience, so please do not feel as if you are any different because of it. I personally believe that anxiety is created due to a limiting understanding of our internal functions and human instincts.

See all humans are created with a default state of survival. A default state that is naturally programed within us upon birth. This is not learnt, this is our creation! Without thought, we are born too subconsciously see, breathe, and have our hearts beat. Our body’s respond subconsciously to all we need and all that is required to survive.

We are programed with subconscious reminders of discomfort that remind us to take action. When we experience a feeling of hunger, we know we need food. When we experience thirst, we know we are dehydrated and when we become tired, we know we need sleep and rest etc. As for anxiety, we experience a discomfort, reminding us there is a misalignment somewhere within.

Humans are the complete package, with no flaws. The human race is so unique that it can even self-heal itself. When one get cut or weakens a muscle, our bodies subconsciously heal themselves. This is how advance we all are, mind-blowing right! However with so many elements and internal systems, it is easy to see how one can become confused and even mislead.

We tend to change our entire understanding and practices so easily, via mere misunderstandings! A minor disconnect can send our worlds down a spiral of confusion and misalignment. A minor disconnect from our default state that is!

Anxiety is a great example, generalized by a limited understanding and association to the human survival system – The fight or flight response.

The fight or flight response is a part of our survival system, our human instincts. A default state within our makeup. This magnificent system, is here to support us in a time of danger.

The fight or flight response is activated subconsciously, when we are exposed to a life threatening situation, or when our lives are in danger. When this response is activated, the brain sends out an SOS message. Which activates our sympathetic nervous system (The stress system) and releases a range of hormones and neurochemicals, adrenaline being one of them. The body simply goes into survival mode.

The body actively resynchronizes the amount of energy being displaced to other systems within our bodies that may not be of assistance in a time of threat. It disengages many systems that won’t be required on a short term basis, such as the digestion system and redirects the energy towards more promising survival systems, such as increasing the amount of blood flow being transited throughout our body’s and muscles. This is all to get us ready to either fight or flight (Flee)

Our bodies are made to survive. All our natural internal systems and elements are made to support our survival, not to sabotage it!

I like to understand the fight or flight response in a simpler and less scientific way. I feel that the fight or flight response is engaged, due an unexpected surge of energy trying to be processed all at once. An unexpected shock to the body, via an event that was not intended. This then causes our brain to go into an overdrive, which causes us to overheat. Hence why our hearts start to rise, palm sweat and all that fun stuff. That when we experience an intense and unexpected situation, it causes an overload of emotions and thoughts to be processed at the same time. And before you can think of a solution to decipher the situation, we go into a panic mode. It’s basically a surge of power getting sent to the brain, and because it cannot process it all at once it reverts such a response. A response of survival, to fight or flee the situation.

However with that said, the fight or flight response can be activated prematurely. We can short circuit this response, by an over load of negative thoughts and intense emotions. A false belief that is reinforced internally, having us believe it is real. Generally when we make false assumptions to believe our lives are in danger. “Huston we have a problem, Mayday, Mayday initiate the Fight or Flight!”

There is so much energy trying to be processed at one time, that our circuit gives up and crash. We become so invested within the feelings of fear and future projection, which cause us to hone in on all those negative feelings, to further reinforce this illusion of pain and imprisonment.

We continue to focus on all the elements of discomfort within us such as; loss of breathe, overdrive of adrenaline, constriction in the throat region, etc. And because we focus on it so intensely, we feel the full affects even if there not present.  We self-manifest these feelings within to subconsciously activate its responses.  

We tend to stop exercising, distance ourselves from loved ones, subconsciously tense the body, avoid sleeping and even stop eating. All these elements then start to take a spiraling effect.

We focus so much on the effects, we lose sight of the cause. And many of us start to adjust our lives in fear of the next episode, further reinforcing its truth. However when we obsess over the affects, instead of the cause, we are just adding to this viscous cycle, that all revert their own negative reactions!

Let’s break a range symptom down and see the underlying causes, and how they are all interweaved together!

Firstly it is important to always remember that all commands are initiated through the brain, and influenced by thought. Initially, one becomes influenced by a train of negative thoughts and amplified emotions attached towards them. Generally via a horrible experience that reverted the fight or flight response previously. We short circuit a response in the brain.

We attach many senses towards the negative thoughts, and divert all our focus towards our discomfort until the feelings become present. Now the slightest feeling, is amplified due to our intense focus.

This fear spirals our hearts to beat, and our adrenaline to activate. Now we have an intense feeling we are trying to decipher within our minds. We start to take short gasps of air, adding to the discomfort, caused by our internal fear and now our bodies are in overdrive.

Further, as we are not eating correctly, the body try’s to scavenge all the excess energy remaining within this deficiency we have caused, in order to deal with this disconnect. However our bodies are so tired due to a lack of sleep, and all the previous energy we have invested in worrying and tensing our bodies throughout the day, which it goes into a state of shock and panic, activating such a response. Well done, you have now manipulated your brain in believing you are in a life threatening situation.

See when one stops eating, due to a false belief of chocking, they are causing a deficiency of nutrients and energy throughout the body. And without food, how the body is expected to function properly and feel healthy. Further add a lack of sleep and weary muscles caused from an ongoing internal strain to the muscles. And as if that wasn’t enough, continue to add the discomfort of feeling tired and worn down caused from a lack of sleep. See how the body is now feeding from a feast of negativity and fear, to activate the fight or flight!

It is most important to understand that our internal make-up is made for survival. For one to regain control and focus of their thoughts and emotion is the key. Our internal system will do the rest, to self-heal itself. Remember that all commands are initiated through the brain and influenced upon your thoughts and emotions.

For one to list the process and understand the steps that are initiated and influenced is crucial, it will set you free.

A very common teaching to relieve anxiety, is for one to become present and pay attention to their breathing. As our bodies are processing so many thoughts and emotions at once, it causes our whole system is running in overdrive, we need to bring it down to optimum working level, and redirect our focus onto something else. The rest will take care of itself. Understand that we are in no harm, and that it’s caused by a daydream of false beliefs. Do not invest within the feelings, instead focus on the cause to understand its illusion.

I have come to find, that the easiest way to escape from the illusion of anxiety, is to realign ones focus.

Focus is the kryptonite, to anxiety!

That our current environment and situations shape us, we become all that we are exposed to. Hence why when one feels as though their living within a hell, the only reassurance they are receiving from the world is negative. Understand that your entire focus is on this misalignment, so we must refocus our energy on our hearts desires and positivity.

If that is falling in love, deciding to move into foreign territories, getting a new job, etc. Find something you love to do or start something new that will take your focus away from the darkness and into the light.

When we redirect our focus to a situation that will impact us and offered more of an emotional and physical impact toward that we are currently focusing on. It will dilute the effect of anxiety. See if I put you in a plane and made you skydive, your entire focus will be in the experience of free falling, it is a completely new experience. It impacts you on a direct emotional level yet physical level, and as we know that which affects us and uses more senses is where our focus goes. And if you focus on positivity, that is what will grow.

Don’t give value to the false beliefs that you are different or ill, believe that your body will self-heal itself as it was created to do. Surrender to the thoughts and false beliefs and know that they cannot harm you. As one dreams to wake up safe and normal, once we realize we are living in a self-manifested day dream, we too will wake up safe and normal.

I hope I have given you more insight towards this topic, and thank you all for reaching out. Please feel free to leave your comments, Stay safe and always well.

Until Next Time, Take Care.