Personality Phases – Noticing the Hidden Apostrophes

aloof

The human race is unpredictable, unfair and hurtful, but in all fairness can be loving, caring and beautiful. It’s funny how we can know someone for a lifetime but not really know them at all, wouldn’t you agree! We all know some what about everything, but little of all.

We get caught within this all knowing, thinking we understand another better than they know themselves, but truth be told we are only privileged to see the sides of an individual that they are willing to show us.

Life has a way of getting into routine as they say, we set our ways and usually continues on a path of consistency. We settle into new experiences and if we feel satisfied enough to continue on their paths routines are created. Our human interactions are not too far from this mark either, we find common ground with individuals and set our standards of conduct within that relationship usually early on. We test the waters of acceptance by evaluating the receiving responses that further reassure the expectations we expect from another. We come to believe that one is to act and react in a certain way and subconsciously create a baseline or so called contractual agreement within ourselves about how another should act.

The truth is we are chameleons within all life’s events. Little by little we grow and subconsciously adjust our ways to suit the situations at hand. Can I ask, are you the same person you were five years ago? Have you changed your outlook on life recently or grown? Do you act differently around your parents than you do with your friends, significant other or how you conduct yourself throughout your professional life? See we change the masks of our personality more than we realize.

But change is such a strong and misleading word, don’t you think! Yes we grow, yes we learn and that’s how we evolve and so do our personalities. We can learn a lot of wondrous things about ourselves and others within each and every circumstance we’re privileged. Many times we experience a different angle to another’s personality and instantly we start to reassess everything that we have come to understand, confusion strikes midnight and we are left with this uncomforting feeling towards them.

As humans, there are many faces to our personalities that we may never experience nor understand. Dependent on the situation and stage within our lives can cause us to act and even react to situations in an entirely different manner. As each and every situation we are faced daily, there can be many element and influences at play. Be our thoughts, emotional state, past experiences, or future projection, all these unforeseen elements will shape the actions we take within that very moment and dependent of the ratios and ingredients mixed together, can create an unpredictable response. It’s like baking a cake, so many ingredients can be used, but a poor choice can turn a masterpiece into a disaster!

Unfortunately we are the first to change our perspective of another so quickly due to an emotional event that has taken place. I have seen marriages, friendships and even family’s fall apart due to the slightest happenings and ever the major ones. That one poor choice can make a fairy tale relationship into that dreaded nightmare. We tend to anchor the last emotional event that’s occurred to highlight and even summarize our entire relationship, forgetting all the positives that have been shared in the past. (Suddenly a once called friend becomes a stranger in our eyes and labelled an Enemy.)

We use harsh words to justify ones actions that haven’t rested well with us, calling them such names as backstabbers or two faced individuals, but how can we be so quick to judge another when we don’t understand all the hidden influences that have contributed to this misfortune. Many times the individual at fault may not even understand why they have reacted in the way they did, it was simply just a confusion of subconscious influences that shaped the event.

When we are dealt with an unpleasant situation or event that has had us questioning our relationship, we must understand that a friendship is on the line and can be lost. We must look at the situation and understand all the influences at play. How would we feel if we had done that very mistake? How would we react to that certain situation with the exact same influences that have driven our friend to such extremes? Ask yourself, can this event strengthen your relationship if you were to save it? Are they worth a second chance in your eyes?

Below I have provided a few short stories to summary ones thoughts of confusion that have shaped an unfortunate event to take place.

Flash Judgement

Let’s say you’re in the hour of peak trying to get home after a long and stressful day. Instantly you are cut off from what seems to be a carless driver, “What a Hoon!” you yell in anger caused by your state of shock and disbelief. As you speed up to approach the driver’s window, you come to discover a nurse comforting a man in distress and in serious need of medical treatment. Your perception changes immediately!

Years of Suppression

Jaimi was a compassionate soul, never judgemental and always took life’s happenings with a grain of salt. “I am 25 years of age, I am not perfect but the art of perfection comes in time” she would constantly say to her closest of friends. Jaimi was a single parent, she lived downtown in a studio apartment with an open layout. It was nothing to be proud of, however she strived to make a home out of a square rundown catastrophe. Her home was clean and neat, polite yet petite and as Jaimi was a perfectionist this was a way for her to really show off her artistic side. Jaimi had her fair share of struggle earlier on in life, and on the surface it seemed she was in control and nothing seemed to shake her much. Her heart was taken young by her high school prince charming. Once her mother was diagnosed with severe breast cancer when Jaimi was at the age of 14, Tyson was there to comfort her and eventually this caring bond blossomed into what should have been a marriage of the century, however this was not the case. Their marriage lasted just shy of four years. Jaimi thought they were growing closer together after the birth of Annabella, but Tyson was distancing away. The social pressures of parenthood were weighing heavily on Tyson, but he was too proud to admit his defeat to his dearest Jaime and walked out one night never to return. The marriage ended soon after autumn three days before their fourth anniversary. Jaimi took the guilt as a fault of her own and remains single to this day. Jaimi was left alone, yet she stayed positive throughout this time of struggle, as thou it seemed. Two year have passed on and from the surface Jaimi seems as charismatic and positive than ever, but this façade she shows the world has an uncomfortable pillow of comfort that she rest her head on each night she tries to sleep.

A few days ago Jaimi’s closest friend arrived at their usual lunch date just around the corner from Jaimi’s apartment, which Jaimi saves all her loose change from the alphabet soups she buys Anabelle every week to spoil herself a skinny latte. However when her friend Samantha called her that Thursday, Jaime had reacted in a completely different manner that had Samantha questioning their friendship. “Jaime where are you, I have been waiting for 15mins already, it’s not like you to ever be late” she replied to the answering tone as it went to the beep.  Ten minutes passed and Samantha had grown frustrated feeling used, thinking to herself “Jaime should have called to tell me she couldn’t make it, instead of me sitting here waiting like a friendless disappointment” as she sat in the busy dinner all alone feeling insecure. Samantha was the jealous type and felt very insecure about herself, it seemed that all her friend had been married early on and she was destined to live alone. She found comfort with Jaimi as she was never judgmental and always provided Samantha with the reassurance she needed constantly. After fifteen minutes the waiter advised Samantha to leave if she was not prepared to purchase anything. Samantha grew even more frustrated with Jaimi and felt betrayed, “I was made out to be a loner, a complete embarrassment” she muttered under her breath as she stormed outside. Samantha in all her rage decided to call Jaime again to express her disappointments.

Meanwhile on the other side of town Jaime was not having the most of what was meant to be a relaxing day. Annabelle was up crying all night and coming down with fever. Further she received a call earlier in the day by her employer advised that her pay wouldn’t be realized this week, as they were changing their finance firm and outsourcing the procurement department. These circumstances affected Jaime in a negative way as she was living on a pay to pay week, and kept her daily routines religious. As Jaimi woke earlier this morning after her scattered three hours of sleep, she wasn’t feeling the best. She would usually suppress her passed emotions well but today they were starting to surface, it may have been due to the lack of sleep she had or just the underlying fact that she had tried to keep these feelings suppressed for so long and grew tired of covering them under this façade of perfection. To be completely honest Jaime forgot about her weekly plans with Samantha, as she had also forgotten to charge her cell phone the following night which is why she had missed Samantha’s call prior.  As Jaimi realized her phone was empty she quickly rushed over to the counter to commence the charge, whist heading to the counter she slipped on a small puddle of milk that Annabella had spilt seconds before. The breaking point was close for Jaimi as she took a few deep breathes and said to herself “Stay Positive”. As soon as Jaime finally had enough charge to open her cell phone, she was surprised to see an incoming call from Samantha. As she answered the phone she instantly felt guilt towards her forgetfulness, however that quickly changed as she was amazed with the response Samantha had given her.

“How dare you make a fool out of me miss!” Samantha roared “I am so terribly sorry babe, I have had an awful day” responded Jaime, confused by the way Samantha was acting as she had never spoken to her in this way before. “You better be sorry, you call yourself a friend. How would you like it if I did that to you” responded Samantha clearly upset. Jaimi felt an unexplainable overwhelming feeling of what one could only explain as anger, disappointment, hurt, fear, guilt and about two years of bottled up emotions. She finally snapped!  “Excuse me, calm down! I have never treated you with such disrespect before. My day has been one out of the pits of hell and for you to act in such a manner is disrespectful” She yelled. The arguments grew as the insults were returned with each statement that was shared. You could feel the years of a friendship being damaged. Finally Samantha hung up the phone and since that day the friendship has never been the same again.

Jaime had never spoken in such a way to Samantha before, however all the external influences and internal disappointments in her life had exploded within a two minute call from Samantha. If Samantha offered a bit of compassion or suppressed her disappointments this story could have played out in a completely different way. Samantha and Jaimi still talk however this encounter has both scared them with regret and guilt, but most of all poisoned their perception of one another!

Small and major life happening change our perception in so many ways than it would for another, what one can cope with another would fall. We forget to assess all life’s influences when they are really needed. We get into this undiscovered or overanalyzed belief that people are two faced, not genuine and even deceitful without really exploring the reasons why. Instead we take these happenings on a face value forgetting to shed the light on all the curves and edges present. We like to believe that we know how we would act or react to curtain situations and quick to judge another without ever realizing the hidden letters substituted by a simple apostrophe and as we all know a simple apostrophe can change an entire understanding!

You hear stories of others doing trouble things or un-foreseen actions and we are the first to judge, only because we don’t understand the circumstances at hand and left interoperating it on a bias and limited understanding. Others may fall victim to seduction, fear, and even pride not to mention drugs and alcohol which causes us to act and react to circumstances in unexpected and explainable ways.

There can be hundreds of situations that present themselves in the same outfit, but dependent on all the supporting elements and influences can play out in a trillion different ways. So before we are quick to let a friendship vanish prematurely remember all your past memory’s you had once shared. Understand that they are still the same person and that they have not just magically changed overnight, it is just another angle of their personality’s you have got to see. Let these happenings help you to further understand them. Remember to treat everyone in a way you wish to be treated in return. We all fall victim to mistakes and things we aren’t so proud of, thou to forgive and forget can set us free and be the salvation to a fairy tale relationship that it once was before. We all make mistakes as we are not perfect, after all we are only human and it is all part of our experience.

That the purpose of this message is not to justify the regrets one makes, but to guide one to understand that there are many elements at play. For what we interpreted on a surface level, can be deceiving to an untrained eye. That evil does exist but not in the human skin, as we are made upon the image of all that is good so for that we shall learn to forgive. Humans are sensitive creatures and easily lead astray, but not by nature that has blessed our days, instead mislead by the confusions we gain along the way.

We all know the relationships that serve us wonders, and the ones of regret. So I ask that we evaluate our relationships even when their gloom, but don’t let the happenings of the day set you aloof. At the very least lets forgive and forget to let the troubles rest and we shall set them free to live in peace.

I hope you have enjoyed this post, I look forward to all your comments.

Until Next Time, Take Care For Now.

 

Coins Of A Narrow Path- As The Jar Fills The More We Invest

Battle of Tides Eliminating All Future Regrets

 

regret

There are times in our lives that are wondrous and times of disappointment. That life is like a battle of tides, highs and lows. It is only when we start to acknowledge the discomfort, do we then become sea sick.

When times get me down, I always reflect on the teaching of free will. See our creator has blessed us all with this divine gift of free will. A gift for us all to choose and act upon any circumstance without distrains, and only truly questionable by us.

That you and I have both received this divine gift, all for our own use and judgement. Second to none, and nobody else in this world has the right to question it!

However there are times in our lives that creep up on us to flip the blanket of comfort from beneath our feet, causing us to fall head first. Usually a time of emotional confession and an overdrive of thought patterns. A time we are left questioning ourselves and the individuals we are, due to a false or over annualized representation, and perception from external eyes.

We are left believing the harsh words and rationalized content expressed about us, during a highly confusing and negatively fuelled situation we are dealt with from the outside world. A false and bias belief that affects us on an emotional level, amplifying the leverage of negative emotions, manipulating our state and then justifying its truth via the bombardons of energy we attach to these false belief systems.

We all have those individuals that we have emotionally connected ourselves to and interpreted them as our own. Those we consistently revolve our lives around, to the point we have infused them within our own personal journeys. Which is not a bad thing as such, but a lot of times we can become delusional and create a false perception of the circumstances and feelings at hand. Even though we consciously know that these certain individual serve us no good, we continue to manipulate these false beliefs and only take the good out of it, Ignoring the negativity even when the scales have tipped 10 to 1.

I have many individuals that written into me expressing their heartache towards loved ones distancing away, to only leave us with such a regret and false beliefs, that we are the solitary cause of their own personal dilemmas.

This is where this teaching of free will is so powerful to understand. See when these significant individuals make the decision to distance themselves, they actively choose to do it for themselves. They have made a conscious decision, not to invest anymore of their time within trying to amend and secure the relationships at hand. This is something we do not have the right to control nor change. This is their free will in action.

But to remember, that we must always express ourselves and put our hearts on the line, is all that we can do within these moments. To know that the choice is there for them to consider and make, Nice and Clear. It’s simply out of our hands.

See, for one to truly express their internal feelings, to the point that they are satisfied with their efforts, sets us free and enables us to let go of the burning coal of regret and anger that will be hold deep within us. We must stay true to ourselves.

A teaching I have incorporated, throughout my path in life and that truly holds a special meaning to me, as I hope that all the amazing individuals who are reading can also find its significance within it, is;

Don’t waste your time explaining yourself to others, because at the end of the day, you are the only one left explaining yourself to YOU!

Express yourself, within the situation, but do not go on explaining yourself for your actions as you are the only one at fault, and the one left to pick up the pieces.

Understand that we all play apart in a partnership, this is why communication is so important. But it always takes two individuals, to make it work, Not just one.

See when we embrace this saying, we can really eliminate all future regrets “I could have done this or I could have said that” See a regret is only created when we are not satisfied with our efforts.

Let me repeat this again, Regret Is Only Created When One Is Not Satisfied With Their Efforts.

To know we could have done or said more, will leave us explaining the situation and our action to no one but ourselves in time to come. Remember to express yourself fully, and you will be sure to release the burden of any future regrets.

Acknowledge that living unhappily and continue to do so, is not always healthy for us. Like a disease it will continue to consume us the more we hold onto it.

Keep in mind that, to try and change a person or their decision based on your own personal judgement, is an act of selfishness. Would we like it if somebody took our free will away from us and imprisoned us in a world of control! To think we are here, not for our own preference but for the sorrow of another, is not right and it will eventually take its toll on us in the future.

We are all great, we can do anything we set our minds to, that our life is a magical gift and we shouldn’t waste a minute of it in denial nor regret. After all our time on this earth is not forever, Hence why we should embrace each and every moment of it. 

That the more we focus on the problems, the more we will start to see flaws, even if they are not there.

As humans, we tend to look for the missing pieces in others, not understanding that we have to find them within ourselves. That people only guide us to the place where we can discover it from within, not the other way around.

It is only natural we reflect the cause of such a situation on us, when really everyone lives there own experiences from within their own beliefs.

Don’t corrupt your self-image from others infected thoughts or interpretation of you. They do not have that right, yet don’t hold the power to do so.

We don’t have to dilute our own self morals for other because they are misled or have a limited understanding. We keep our stance and keep the posture of goodness within us.

Know that you create your own love within yourself. We are all truly amazing people and we all obtain that special spark of uniqueness deep within.

If someone is an honest friend or holds a significance to us, they will always be back. This is not our burden to keep, it is a burning coal that they must learn to release.

So remember to always express yourself and your intentions, This is important.

To always show others how we feel. But most importantly, do not lose sight of the fact that if we consistently keep on persuade someone to forgive us, is not the honest approach either. It is something they should feel and understand the value within. That’s how we can filter the true honest individuals within our lives, and let the others fly free. We could have 100 friends, but remember the ones that come back are the golden eggs worth hatching.

We all deserve the best in our existence because were all amazing. I wish you a world of happiness and love.

Please feel free to leave your comments.

Until next time, Take care.

The Odds Are In Favour Part III

Apple, One of the world’s largest multinational technology corporations, originally operated out of a basic home garage. That’s right, and look at them now!

Steve Jobs, expressed a very insightful truth, when he stated ““Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you”.

Take a minute to let this statement sink in, and whist you’re doing so, start to look around your environment and really appreciate everything in your sight.

From the simple; Pens, Cutlery, Clothing, even the bracelets you’re wearing.  To the complex; Medicine, science, technology, mechanics.                                This was all created by the human race. Someone just like you and I.

Think of your idols, from super athletes to superstars, they were once children. And yes, they are somebody’s relatives and siblings as well. We are all faced with the same struggles on a daily basis, because at the end of the day, were all humans.

Explain to me, how these specific individuals can do something amazing and you can’t?

When we start to embrace Steve jobs teaching, it begins to ignite a spark of hope and intrigue within us. That we are all made from the same fabric, see we all have a mind, body and soul, we all feel emotions and process thoughts, don’t we. No one is truly smarter or better than another. It is how we choose to use our time that really come to show!

See we are not born with talent, talent is created once one becomes aware and intrigued by a certain skill. Then by continuous understanding, practice and willingness to learn. The skill is then developed into talent. Talent is what a skill becomes after its mastered!

There is such a misconception around talent. Many of us tend to use it as an excuse, instead of trying to understand what it’s all about, and recognize how to utilize its power. It’s easier to disregard something, when it seems hard and confusing. But if we only knew it was this easy all along!

We cultivate our own skills to create talent, by becoming aware and honing in on all its minuet skills and elements that are generally not noticed so evidently. It’s only when one starts to consciously notice and actively pays attention to it, do the patterns start to surface.

With continuous practice, we generally start to create our own unique style towards that skill, and that’s when things start to become fun. When we really start to focus and put all our energy into our desires, do we reach to achieve greatness! After all, the effort is always put in, behind the curtains, the presentation that is revealed to all, is only the celebration of our achievements.

One may say, if we can master talents, then there must be a way to advantage this resource we possess? And this absolutely correct, Let me explain.

When one want to learn a desired skill, we must understand the knowledge and basis of it first. That there is never one way to skin a cat, as they say! You must simply understand what suits you.

Many times, you can take the time to seek an understanding from others, to help you recognize their process. However there will be times that you don’t agree with them, which is fine. If something doesn’t work for you, don’t be discouraged, this is only their process that works for them, not you.

Remember, that you know yourself better than anyone else. Trust me!

One way to utilize your prior knowledge, is to think of a skill you have already mastered in the past and see how it had served you. This will give you a head start.

See when one earns a degree, they did not just learn the knowledge of that subject, No! They learnt a range of useful skills within its process. They learnt, Patience, how effort pays off, being on time and the consequence. They learnt sacrifice, talking in front of large crowds during presentations, being social, etc. These elements are all important within our success. There is never one element that creates success, there a many! And how you choose to integrate them, is all up to you. We create our own flawless approach, all on our own.

Once you understand this, you can continue to advantage your situations. That there is never lost time, only time used poorly and time used efficiently.

We learn something every moment of our existence, how much we learn and obtain, is up to us!

Let’s say you are a mother and you want to work in the corporate world, now that your children are grown up. You can use your skills that you learnt during motherhood, to advantage your position within the organization, by altering your learning style to suit yourself.

It’s the way we choose to process and retain the information that can serve real benefit to us. You can process the information in a way you have already mastered in the past, by relating it towards an already acquired skills.

See during motherhood, you would have learnt a wide range of skills that you can incorporate into your corporate position. Such as; scheduling re-occurring activities for the kids, bed times, keeping the house hold clean, managing young kids and tutoring. All these skills can be transitioned into the corporate world as well, such as scheduling meetings, managing activity’s, introducing processes to keep the workplace safe and neat, etc.

Now let’s take it to another extreme, say you were an auto mechanic learning to become a doctor. You could relate certain parts of the body to an engine. This may help you remember the concept of how the body works. “Humans drink water to keep hydrated, as a car requires water to avoid overheating.”  See how we can integrate our past skills to advantage us in the now, in all we do. And see how you made your own style of it.

If you relate a complex subject into something you have already mastered you are sure to have it remembered easier. Remember, It’s not the smartest individuals that change the world, it’s the most Driven and persistent. Or as Charles Darwin said, the most adaptable.

So always remember that the odds are truly in our favour 1 to over 7 billion, the evidence is right in front of us all, and it always has been.

Use these teachings as a constant reminder of truth. That we are all connected through, the six degrees of separation, or should I say the 3 degrees of separation, all we have to do is Ask, Seek and Knock, because, Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you.

Please feel free, to leave any comments you may have, Take care for now.

 

The Odds Are In Our Favour Part I 

A famous author by the name of Frigyes Karinthy first wrote about a concept called the six degrees of separation in 1929. His teaching explained, everything that is in existent within our realty is at maximum 6 steps or less, away from us obtaining it.

Matt 7-7, reminds us of another important lesson taught to us by one of the most inspirational role models that has blessed this earth, Jesus. With his wisdom and compassion, Jesus illustrated that those who “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”

And who could forget that famous speech given by Steve Jobs, who was named one of the most influential beings of the 21st century stating “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you”.

The lessons above, truly express the epitome of success, and go to show how the odds are honestly in favour for all that seek to understand, and cultivate the power embedded within these teachings.

As we are already aware, the planet earth consists of over 7 billion individuals, which means we have over 7 billion opportunities worldwide that can contribute, and have a direct effect on our lives. I mean that is mind blowing! That our odds for change are 1 in over 7 Billion. Fantastic isn’t it!

So let’s get started, I want to touch on each of these teachings above with a little more insight, to help you gain an understanding on how they can be used to benefit, and achieve our most desired aspirations in life.

The six degrees of separation,

This concept was taught at a time of when the world was not exposed to such advanced technology that we have today.

Before internet, emails, Social network channels, media, telecommunications, Phones Landlines Fax machines, automobiles, aeroplanes ….. I can go on all day, but you get the point!

 

It’s amazing to see how far the human race has advanced in such little time. How our species alone have really changed the world, and innovated such excellence, that continues to enrich our existence, and experience of our children. (And it was all created by Humans like me and you!)

 

The times have really changed to favour us, in the means of connecting and communication. That we can connect with people from the other side of the world in seconds and even visit the other side of the world in a matter of hours.

We live in the golden age of history, 21st century. That if we tried to explain to our ancestors, of how life would be now, they would call us crazy and have us sentenced to death for preaching such blasphemy. If they could see us know!

 

So let’s really get our hands in the sand with this one.

The Six Degrees of Separation: If the 6 degree of separation concept was first introduced in the 20th Century, considering we are now living in the 21st Century, and our resources are a thousand times more advanced, that would suggest that the 6 degrees would be substantially less, right.

So with this in mind, we could amend the 6 degrees of separation to at maximum, of say 3 degrees of separation or less.

 I mean, Wow! 

I am left speechless every time that I think of this.

To imagine, Instead of making a maximum of 6 moves to connect with any anything or anyone within this planet, it could be obtained within 3 or less steps.

 

However if this is to be true, why aren’t we all sitting on the beach, drinking Pina coladas with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. I mean, if it is all that easy!


Let me explain, what we tend to overlook, is that as things become easier, more people are willing to advance on the opportunity’s. And why not, this world is at equal playing grounds for all.

 

The question is not that others are better than us, smarter than us or even a matter of luck.

It’s that they seize the moment and really invest in the opportunity at hand. They invest within themselves and their future. They understand that we are already half way there, and choose to spend their time proactively, on advancing on their desires.

 

They embrace their creative side, with a hint of drive and persistence that sets them apart from the heard, and activate that special instrument called imagination.

 

Let’s say you’re an aspiring Musician, trying to gain the attention of a world class record label. You must remember that we are living in the 21st Century, that communicating your talent, is only a click away. So how are you going to engage your desired individual and have them invest within you?

 

Say you were the head of the record label, you receive hundreds of demo CD’s a day, you notice 2 amazing artists, that have clearly invested there time in strengthening their musical talents.

One of the artist has only submitted one CD, as the other artist has also submitted a CD, but further they have sent an additional 10 emails, with a website attached, including performances, biography’s and photos.

Ask yourself, who would grab your attention more? Who showed more intent and commitment? I know who I would choose!

 

Also, remember not to be discouraged when things don’t go your way, continue to persist and learn from you mistakes. If we learn early we will be ready for them next time they come around.  They are all successes.

They help us grow and advance ourselves in all aspects of life.

 

So embrace the times we are living in, don’t lose focus. Remember to keep persistent and let your imagination take you for a ride.

 

Don’t forget, that the odds for change favour us, 1 in over 7 billion.

Do something different, something special, and you will be sure to make an impression.

 

Stay posted, as I cover the remaining two teachings in my future posts.

Please feel free to leave a comment, Take care for now.