Versatile Blogger Award

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Tech and Fashion, comparisons towards these two topics are so different yet so, so far apart! For one to try and merge these two topics together within the same platform and further have them complement each other, would be an act of complete intelligence!

Luckily one blogger “Mlscom at https://mlscom.wordpress.com” is making it easy for everyone. I highly recommend this site to all that wish to spend their time in enjoyment. This page has been well crafted and the layout really goes to show how with a little bit of computer savviness a masterpiece can be made. Very enjoyable and complementary experience. I thank you again for nominating me for this award, it is accepted with open arms.

Here are the Rules:

  • You have to thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog!
  •  Link the nominees and inform them about their nomination (passing the love, that was given)
  • Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice (At least)
  • Share 7 facts about yourself (being truthful)

7 facts about Simplisticinsights

  1. Simplisticinsights only uses original photo posts, that’s right all my photo posts are either captured, designed or drawn.
  2. All poems are usually made on the spot, once I open a new document I will have to finish the poem before I close it. – I work well under pressure.
  3. All poems and content is original
  4. Besides poetry and Blogging, I really enjoy writing Fiction and Non-fiction stories.
  5. My passion for writing grows with every post I share
  6. I love to travel – New people, new experiences and sights – what’s their not to love!
  7. I look forward to reading all the comments I receive from my readers, it brings me much joy.

Insightful blogs I highly recommend reading and further nominate for this award are:

https://rivenrod.com/

https://vonnie.wordpress.com/

https://volleyballgalblog.wordpress.com/

https://alfaazonkiudaan.wordpress.com/

https://bayareabeautyblogger.com/

https://nadiabourgeois.wordpress.com/

Welcome

https://wandasncredible.wordpress.com/

https://aanchalwrites.wordpress.com/

https://anitabacha.com/

http://rashminotes.com/

https://lulumusing.wordpress.com/

https://f3foranswers.wordpress.com/

https://utipblog.wordpress.com/

https://shruti502.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

 

Path to Happiness – Lets start the movement!

Happiness

Happiness, it is one of those states we haven’t quite mastered yet let alone practice its perfection, a puzzling ordeal to say the least. Now I’m not talking about the type of happiness that surprisingly plans a limited visit every now and then just to remind us how miserable our lives have become just before it packs its bag and disappears again. I’m talking about that lasting feeling of satisfaction and appreciation, the good stuff!

But how do we get that lasting happiness, one of daily smiles and laughter? That feeling of letting life’s problems perish away because deep down we know that the problems we face can suffice another day and to be quite frank they really don’t bother us as it is just another experience for us to shine and grow right!

I recently stumbled upon a video that resonated with me on so many levels. A compassionate yet highly insightful understanding that I thought must be shared!

Mo Gawdat” “A Google Executive” (https://youtu.be/FfCq-3L_rNk) voices his views on happiness and I couldn’t agree more, his sharing’s have inspired me to reconstruct his insights and use his understandings to prepare this post for all my valuable readers.

We must really come to terms with and appreciate that happiness isn’t a temporary state, it is meant to be a consistent way of living, a lifestyle! As absurd and astray as this may sound, it is what we are all fighting for!

Happiness isn’t found within the riches we gain, nor is it within the material we acquire. It is an internal acceptance and reassurance that life is just right for us within “this exact moment” we are experiencing and is on the path of getting better the more we grow to experience this gift we have received. Believe me once we change this mind-set and come to see the light is and can be brighter on the other side we accept it more openly.

Mo Gawdat explain happiness like this “Happiness is equal to or greater than, the difference between the way you see the events in your life and your expectation of how life should behave!

It’s an internal state of acceptance as I like to call it, how do you picture your life to be and how is life behaving, is it acceptable for you? Should you be doing more?  Because until we can accept it, life will continue to feed us everything that we being exposed to.

This understanding compliments my previous post “curve balls & that famous saying seeing is Believing” very nicely.

That life projects the experience and understanding internally before it interprets it in the outer reality, it’s simply a matter of changing the lenses we look out of. First we must see life for what it is in a nonbiased manner. Look at what you’re expecting from life and list down everything that you have right now. Compare the two and see what is complimenting your journey and what may be delaying it. Then you must acknowledge a few simple truths, are you happy with the results life is giving you, is it behaving in an acceptable way that you are willing to feel comfort towards? Understand the way we process this information and through which lenses we choose to see them through, this is the key!

Mo further explains a common misconception of how the modern world comes to see fun as a worthy opponent toward this endless feeling of happiness. The misunderstanding of these similar states can cause a whirlwind of confusion within us all. Firstly we must understand that the state of fun is experienced through our extraverted senses and then the state of happiness is experienced internally. Fun is absorbed through the external and then manifested within to trigger a responses of happiness.

A misunderstood feeling can usually cause us to attach to un-wanting yet toxic behaviors for a quick fix as they say. Some of us substitute toxic behaviors such as alcohol or drugs to revert this quick response and in time cause us to believe that these behaviors are acceptable to drain away all life’s problems in a simple binge. Others revert to more abundant behaviors such as dancing or singing, but later put too much emphasis on the results they generate within us. As a result we hypnotize our understanding to believe that we are only happy when we are participating within these events, then slowly but surely we continue to add such pressure toward these activity’s until we wear out the novelty. That our abundant actions do contribute to an everlasting happiness it is true, however they are only a limited experience or a sneak peek toward the all mighty state.

See when we are having fun this causes us to stop thinking momentarily, our thoughts seize which causes us to forget about life and all its dilemmas to help us find that state of internal fulfilment. That when one is having fun, it’s a sneak peek towards the real thing. A momentary experience designed to motivate us in achieving this abundant state of living. We simply forget our troubles because we are distracted by the moment.

But what if we could release our thoughts of sadness from the very beginning, even before we start to let our hair down? The good news is that we can but it requires work. By practicing to live in the moment every single day of our lives with a positive outlook we can start the process to happiness quite quickly, but we must incorporate the feeling of acceptance and gratitude as well.

We must acknowledge what we have and what we are being given so we can then start to strategically adjust our motivations to suit. Accept the position of life you are in right now, truth is we always want more and are constantly dissatisfied ever so often, but without accepting our current stance we have failed before we have even began.

They are millions of people that are living in a far worse situation than most of us are, living in poverty, low class society’s trying to get a foot in the door, however It would not surprise me if they in return live a more fulfilled and abundant life than many of us do. The modern world has a way of exposing us to an endless opportunity of riches and unlimited material abundance, which subconsciously affects us emotionally and subconsciously. We see so many opportunity’s that can be gained and experienced which cause us to become envious and dissatisfied with our efforts, maybe even a little annoyed. We simply have too many choices these days, there is no two ways about it. The difference between the developing world and the developed world is that one side accepts what they have and make the most of it, solely because they are not exposed to the social pressures we experience in the modern world. All the data that these less fortunate individuals process through the external world are reassured by the same results as their neighbor. Opposed to the modern world where we are constantly being exposed to many platforms that shape our understanding of the world. Though the media, work, our close friends and family, these all affect us subconsciously and distract us from being grateful and accepting of what we already have.

Happiness is not within the things we buy nor the way we show ourselves to the world, because let’s face these actions are all just way for us to get something in return, be acceptance, confidence, to show authority, power or superiority. Instead it is how we feel within.

Happiness is within each moment we are blessed here on earth, within the laughter’s, the smiles within the people and experiences, it is within everything that we do that all contributes toward achieving this utter piece within us all. Even if we don’t feel that life is measuring up to our standards we are expecting, we should understand that we can make little steps within the moment to progress the end goal. That way we can achieve a feeling of acceptance toward this very stage of our lives right now and know that soon enough we will reach this abundant state we are all longing for.

If many of us were to sit down for five minutes and really think about what it is that we are expect from life, we would be amazed with the results we could achieve. When doing so, it is important to rid of the ego and external data we are exposed towards. Forget money, material and all those deceiving items that keep contributing toward our confusion. Really think about, what you expect from life and what feelings you want to generate through this experience, remember don’t look at the surface level but really question how the feeling of acceptance and happiness is generated within you.

A quick exercise that only takes a few minutes which really helps me to stay grounded and understand my true intentions is to question my beliefs and so called ego that weaves within my waking reality. Let’s try to question our happiness!

Example – (Money + Travel = Happiness)

John wants to make a lot of money?

But why I ask?

I love to travel and to be abundant within my finances so I can travel whenever and where ever I want he replies.

But I ask why?

Because I like to travel, he replies.

Instead I say, what does travelling offer you internally, explain to me the feelings it generates within?

John reply’s, I get excited seeing new sites, eating new foods and meeting new people.

Ok, I continue why?

Because it makes me feel free and forget my problems he replies.

So is it a distraction from the world and a way for you to experience your happiness, a momentary happiness I ask?

Yes he says.

So this example above is explaining how john is substituting a state of fun (External influence) for happiness because he is unfulfilled within your current stage. How can we change this around now?

So I continue to ask.

If I gave you ten million dollars to travel the world all alone with no civilization around would you still enjoy it?

I guess it would not be as fun, it would be quite lonely he replies.

So you need to find that special someone to enjoy your time with as well I continue.

Now we are starting to justify john’s internal morals instead of just looking at travel from a surface level. John subconsciously relates travel as an exercise for him escape and distract him from his current reality.

By finding our true morals and assessing if they are being satisfied we can understand what elements will compliment us towards achieving this everlasting happiness in all areas of our lives. Further by starting to make small and steady steps to achieving our happiness we can achieve a satisfied feeling within our lives and most importantly within this exact moment we are living right now. (Remember those silent whispers that visit you within your thoughts are only invited because you feel unsatisfied with your efforts within the moment, this is your ego)

Further learn to bargain with life, we bargain all the time be at work, with friends, buying or selling. By learning to bargain with your ego you can really start to compromise with yourself and feel satisfied toward the even the more out of reach expectations you may have.  Yes I like to travel, to experience new things but how can I compensate my expectations so I am gifted an internal fulfilment and acceptance until my goals are met? Shall I sacrifice a five star hotel for a shared accommodation or can I reduce the duration of my time of travel to six weeks instead of three months? Learning to compromise can do wonders. Further change your perspective toward the experience, say yes this will be fun to experience shared accommodation, this will force me to meet a lot of interesting people and help me get out of my comfort zone, it may also be a good way for me grow within the process – now it has become exciting!

Many of us might say, isn’t travelling just an act of fun, a distraction from the world? Remember that by looking at our fun distractions from a different light and justifying the outcome of our intent, it can help motivate us to make solid internal changes and truly understand our morals and what elements truly compliment this abundant state of happiness until it becomes a habit.  Acknowledge what you love and your overall morals. Make small and steady changes each day to contribute to your end results, but overall and most importantly acknowledge that true happiness is the result of overall acceptance.

Spend the time to realize what will generate happiness within you and work towards it, understand the graciousness within the day and feel the abundance. It is the journey that shapes our understanding, this is what counts. The prize is not winning as the prize is within the journey.

Fun is only a sneak peak of what there is to be gained, but by understanding what your fun generates and practicing within the abundant feelings it can lead you to captivate those habits of an everlasting enjoyment and happiness. See being happy is a choice we make, and a choice we can make right now. Yes it can be hard and will require some practice to reach that everlasting and rewarding feeling, but like your thoughts of negativity and depression, we had also practiced them subconsciously in the past. Some of us even practiced negativity that well that we eventually mastered the darkened arts. Now it’s time for us to learn and practice the art of freedom and Love. Let’s change our mind-set and make a new habit for the best. We go to gyms and practice cooking etc. these all have their benefits so why not incorporate a little maintenance for our emotion state as well!

Every result in your life comes from the effort you put into it, let’s all make a movement together for a more fulfilled experience. Let’s practice the arts of happiness and together create a movement within us all.

I hope you liked this post, and look forward to all your insights you would like to share.

Until Next Time, Take Care.

Lovely Award

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I would like to take the time to acknowledge a wonderful and super talented blogger. Minderland – Inspire and be inspired (https://minder-land.com) is a must read blogger who has an enormous talent and very inspirational. With all my heart I would like to say thank you so much for this gracious awards.

SOME RULES:

  • Thank the person that nominated you and leave a link to their blog
  • Post about the award
  • Share seven facts about yourself
  • Nominate at most 15 people
  • Tell your nominees they’ve been nominated for one lovely award

7 more facts about Simplisticinsights

–      Simplisticinsights is the first blog I have created. I would love to thank each and every one of my readers for giving me the opportunity to share my insights with you!

–       I have recently entered a poetry competition, Wish me luck!

–       I love discovering new words, it’s a hobby of mine

–       When I write, I always try to get into that sweet emotional state of feeling.

–       I believe that our experience exposes us to many opportunities in life and persistence always makes sure that we’re never left behind.

–       I believe ones experience of life can be changed by simply having a positive outlook.

I would love to recognize these amazing bloggers below, and nominate theme for this award.

https://emotionsoflife2016.wordpress.com/

https://kawsreflections.wordpress.com/

https://fromthecreativeblock.wordpress.com/

https://marriagetroublesite.com/

https://inesepogagallery.com/

https://thoughtsofalibra.wordpress.com/

https://bonnyssoulfood.com/

https://thejourneytowardhealing.wordpress.com/

https://whyfinanceblog.com/

https://gastradamus.wordpress.com

https://lamarrwenrich.com/

https://mlscom.wordpress.com

/https://minder-land.com/

https://lipstickforlunchsite.wordpress.com

https://readersr.wordpress.com/

Mystery Blogger Award

Mystery

Write Ally! Write! (https://writeallywrite.wordpress.com) has graciously nominated Simplisticinsights this Mystery Award.  Write Ally! Write! Is an amazingly insightful and beautiful blog, where I find myself regularly visiting especially to read her A class poetry. I always leave positive and feeling amazing after every visit! Must read blogger! Thanks AGAIN!

“Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion. – Okoto Enigma

Let’s thank Okoto Enigma for this amazing award that play major roles in bringing bloggers closer together!

Rules:

  • Display the award logo/image on your blog
  • List the rules.
  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to the nominator’s blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  • Answer 5 questions from the nominator
  • Nominate 10 -20 bloggers

Three bits and bobs about Simplisticinsights:

–        I use Fear as a driver for success

–        New experiences bring about new inspirations

–        Time is a virtue, we should embrace our time we have, each and every day!

Questions by Write Ally! Write!;

  1. Are you a high achiever? I feel that everyone is an achiever. I feel that many of us have come to overanalyze the representation of this statement. From little achievements to the major ones, they are all stepping stone and learning curves that help us grow. I believe that we are all achievers, However many of us fail to recognize it.
  2. The first thing you do when you face a problem? Stay calm and annalize it from a non-bias point of view.
  3. The best activity you ever done so far? I love to travel, travelling brings about new experiences and new challenges to embrace.
  4. How often do you spend your time by just staring spaces? Every time I hear a song, or read some really good content be poetry etc. I like to stare into space and really take it in and see how it secretly plays a role in my life.
  5. The funny question: You will be the protagonist of the last movie you watched. Who and what movie is that? Hmm the last movie I watched was Logan, so I guess my answer would be Logan haha.

Simplisticinsights questions:

  1. Who is the biggest influencer in your life, your Role model and why? (And they cannot be your relative)
  2. Quote you live your life by?
  3. Biggest achievement?
  4. If you could do or be anyone in this world, who would it be and why?
  5. Most treasured travel memory?

My Insightful nominations are;

https://jackcollier7.com/

https://barrycomersblog.com/

https://snigdhadotcom.wordpress.com/

https://villageundertaker.wordpress.com/

https://ugurbocegisite.wordpress.com/

https://nesiesplace.wordpress.com/

https://musewriter.wordpress.com/

https://traveltomeetyourheart.wordpress.com/

https://thenuttybookblogger.com/

https://twentyfourseveninfrance.com/

 

 

 

Personality Phases – Noticing the Hidden Apostrophes

aloof

The human race is unpredictable, unfair and hurtful, but in all fairness can be loving, caring and beautiful. It’s funny how we can know someone for a lifetime but not really know them at all, wouldn’t you agree! We all know some what about everything, but little of all.

We get caught within this all knowing, thinking we understand another better than they know themselves, but truth be told we are only privileged to see the sides of an individual that they are willing to show us.

Life has a way of getting into routine as they say, we set our ways and usually continues on a path of consistency. We settle into new experiences and if we feel satisfied enough to continue on their paths routines are created. Our human interactions are not too far from this mark either, we find common ground with individuals and set our standards of conduct within that relationship usually early on. We test the waters of acceptance by evaluating the receiving responses that further reassure the expectations we expect from another. We come to believe that one is to act and react in a certain way and subconsciously create a baseline or so called contractual agreement within ourselves about how another should act.

The truth is we are chameleons within all life’s events. Little by little we grow and subconsciously adjust our ways to suit the situations at hand. Can I ask, are you the same person you were five years ago? Have you changed your outlook on life recently or grown? Do you act differently around your parents than you do with your friends, significant other or how you conduct yourself throughout your professional life? See we change the masks of our personality more than we realize.

But change is such a strong and misleading word, don’t you think! Yes we grow, yes we learn and that’s how we evolve and so do our personalities. We can learn a lot of wondrous things about ourselves and others within each and every circumstance we’re privileged. Many times we experience a different angle to another’s personality and instantly we start to reassess everything that we have come to understand, confusion strikes midnight and we are left with this uncomforting feeling towards them.

As humans, there are many faces to our personalities that we may never experience nor understand. Dependent on the situation and stage within our lives can cause us to act and even react to situations in an entirely different manner. As each and every situation we are faced daily, there can be many element and influences at play. Be our thoughts, emotional state, past experiences, or future projection, all these unforeseen elements will shape the actions we take within that very moment and dependent of the ratios and ingredients mixed together, can create an unpredictable response. It’s like baking a cake, so many ingredients can be used, but a poor choice can turn a masterpiece into a disaster!

Unfortunately we are the first to change our perspective of another so quickly due to an emotional event that has taken place. I have seen marriages, friendships and even family’s fall apart due to the slightest happenings and ever the major ones. That one poor choice can make a fairy tale relationship into that dreaded nightmare. We tend to anchor the last emotional event that’s occurred to highlight and even summarize our entire relationship, forgetting all the positives that have been shared in the past. (Suddenly a once called friend becomes a stranger in our eyes and labelled an Enemy.)

We use harsh words to justify ones actions that haven’t rested well with us, calling them such names as backstabbers or two faced individuals, but how can we be so quick to judge another when we don’t understand all the hidden influences that have contributed to this misfortune. Many times the individual at fault may not even understand why they have reacted in the way they did, it was simply just a confusion of subconscious influences that shaped the event.

When we are dealt with an unpleasant situation or event that has had us questioning our relationship, we must understand that a friendship is on the line and can be lost. We must look at the situation and understand all the influences at play. How would we feel if we had done that very mistake? How would we react to that certain situation with the exact same influences that have driven our friend to such extremes? Ask yourself, can this event strengthen your relationship if you were to save it? Are they worth a second chance in your eyes?

Below I have provided a few short stories to summary ones thoughts of confusion that have shaped an unfortunate event to take place.

Flash Judgement

Let’s say you’re in the hour of peak trying to get home after a long and stressful day. Instantly you are cut off from what seems to be a carless driver, “What a Hoon!” you yell in anger caused by your state of shock and disbelief. As you speed up to approach the driver’s window, you come to discover a nurse comforting a man in distress and in serious need of medical treatment. Your perception changes immediately!

Years of Suppression

Jaimi was a compassionate soul, never judgemental and always took life’s happenings with a grain of salt. “I am 25 years of age, I am not perfect but the art of perfection comes in time” she would constantly say to her closest of friends. Jaimi was a single parent, she lived downtown in a studio apartment with an open layout. It was nothing to be proud of, however she strived to make a home out of a square rundown catastrophe. Her home was clean and neat, polite yet petite and as Jaimi was a perfectionist this was a way for her to really show off her artistic side. Jaimi had her fair share of struggle earlier on in life, and on the surface it seemed she was in control and nothing seemed to shake her much. Her heart was taken young by her high school prince charming. Once her mother was diagnosed with severe breast cancer when Jaimi was at the age of 14, Tyson was there to comfort her and eventually this caring bond blossomed into what should have been a marriage of the century, however this was not the case. Their marriage lasted just shy of four years. Jaimi thought they were growing closer together after the birth of Annabella, but Tyson was distancing away. The social pressures of parenthood were weighing heavily on Tyson, but he was too proud to admit his defeat to his dearest Jaime and walked out one night never to return. The marriage ended soon after autumn three days before their fourth anniversary. Jaimi took the guilt as a fault of her own and remains single to this day. Jaimi was left alone, yet she stayed positive throughout this time of struggle, as thou it seemed. Two year have passed on and from the surface Jaimi seems as charismatic and positive than ever, but this façade she shows the world has an uncomfortable pillow of comfort that she rest her head on each night she tries to sleep.

A few days ago Jaimi’s closest friend arrived at their usual lunch date just around the corner from Jaimi’s apartment, which Jaimi saves all her loose change from the alphabet soups she buys Anabelle every week to spoil herself a skinny latte. However when her friend Samantha called her that Thursday, Jaime had reacted in a completely different manner that had Samantha questioning their friendship. “Jaime where are you, I have been waiting for 15mins already, it’s not like you to ever be late” she replied to the answering tone as it went to the beep.  Ten minutes passed and Samantha had grown frustrated feeling used, thinking to herself “Jaime should have called to tell me she couldn’t make it, instead of me sitting here waiting like a friendless disappointment” as she sat in the busy dinner all alone feeling insecure. Samantha was the jealous type and felt very insecure about herself, it seemed that all her friend had been married early on and she was destined to live alone. She found comfort with Jaimi as she was never judgmental and always provided Samantha with the reassurance she needed constantly. After fifteen minutes the waiter advised Samantha to leave if she was not prepared to purchase anything. Samantha grew even more frustrated with Jaimi and felt betrayed, “I was made out to be a loner, a complete embarrassment” she muttered under her breath as she stormed outside. Samantha in all her rage decided to call Jaime again to express her disappointments.

Meanwhile on the other side of town Jaime was not having the most of what was meant to be a relaxing day. Annabelle was up crying all night and coming down with fever. Further she received a call earlier in the day by her employer advised that her pay wouldn’t be realized this week, as they were changing their finance firm and outsourcing the procurement department. These circumstances affected Jaime in a negative way as she was living on a pay to pay week, and kept her daily routines religious. As Jaimi woke earlier this morning after her scattered three hours of sleep, she wasn’t feeling the best. She would usually suppress her passed emotions well but today they were starting to surface, it may have been due to the lack of sleep she had or just the underlying fact that she had tried to keep these feelings suppressed for so long and grew tired of covering them under this façade of perfection. To be completely honest Jaime forgot about her weekly plans with Samantha, as she had also forgotten to charge her cell phone the following night which is why she had missed Samantha’s call prior.  As Jaimi realized her phone was empty she quickly rushed over to the counter to commence the charge, whist heading to the counter she slipped on a small puddle of milk that Annabella had spilt seconds before. The breaking point was close for Jaimi as she took a few deep breathes and said to herself “Stay Positive”. As soon as Jaime finally had enough charge to open her cell phone, she was surprised to see an incoming call from Samantha. As she answered the phone she instantly felt guilt towards her forgetfulness, however that quickly changed as she was amazed with the response Samantha had given her.

“How dare you make a fool out of me miss!” Samantha roared “I am so terribly sorry babe, I have had an awful day” responded Jaime, confused by the way Samantha was acting as she had never spoken to her in this way before. “You better be sorry, you call yourself a friend. How would you like it if I did that to you” responded Samantha clearly upset. Jaimi felt an unexplainable overwhelming feeling of what one could only explain as anger, disappointment, hurt, fear, guilt and about two years of bottled up emotions. She finally snapped!  “Excuse me, calm down! I have never treated you with such disrespect before. My day has been one out of the pits of hell and for you to act in such a manner is disrespectful” She yelled. The arguments grew as the insults were returned with each statement that was shared. You could feel the years of a friendship being damaged. Finally Samantha hung up the phone and since that day the friendship has never been the same again.

Jaime had never spoken in such a way to Samantha before, however all the external influences and internal disappointments in her life had exploded within a two minute call from Samantha. If Samantha offered a bit of compassion or suppressed her disappointments this story could have played out in a completely different way. Samantha and Jaimi still talk however this encounter has both scared them with regret and guilt, but most of all poisoned their perception of one another!

Small and major life happening change our perception in so many ways than it would for another, what one can cope with another would fall. We forget to assess all life’s influences when they are really needed. We get into this undiscovered or overanalyzed belief that people are two faced, not genuine and even deceitful without really exploring the reasons why. Instead we take these happenings on a face value forgetting to shed the light on all the curves and edges present. We like to believe that we know how we would act or react to curtain situations and quick to judge another without ever realizing the hidden letters substituted by a simple apostrophe and as we all know a simple apostrophe can change an entire understanding!

You hear stories of others doing trouble things or un-foreseen actions and we are the first to judge, only because we don’t understand the circumstances at hand and left interoperating it on a bias and limited understanding. Others may fall victim to seduction, fear, and even pride not to mention drugs and alcohol which causes us to act and react to circumstances in unexpected and explainable ways.

There can be hundreds of situations that present themselves in the same outfit, but dependent on all the supporting elements and influences can play out in a trillion different ways. So before we are quick to let a friendship vanish prematurely remember all your past memory’s you had once shared. Understand that they are still the same person and that they have not just magically changed overnight, it is just another angle of their personality’s you have got to see. Let these happenings help you to further understand them. Remember to treat everyone in a way you wish to be treated in return. We all fall victim to mistakes and things we aren’t so proud of, thou to forgive and forget can set us free and be the salvation to a fairy tale relationship that it once was before. We all make mistakes as we are not perfect, after all we are only human and it is all part of our experience.

That the purpose of this message is not to justify the regrets one makes, but to guide one to understand that there are many elements at play. For what we interpreted on a surface level, can be deceiving to an untrained eye. That evil does exist but not in the human skin, as we are made upon the image of all that is good so for that we shall learn to forgive. Humans are sensitive creatures and easily lead astray, but not by nature that has blessed our days, instead mislead by the confusions we gain along the way.

We all know the relationships that serve us wonders, and the ones of regret. So I ask that we evaluate our relationships even when their gloom, but don’t let the happenings of the day set you aloof. At the very least lets forgive and forget to let the troubles rest and we shall set them free to live in peace.

I hope you have enjoyed this post, I look forward to all your comments.

Until Next Time, Take Care For Now.

 

Coins Of A Narrow Path- As The Jar Fills The More We Invest

Spare Change, Toxic Relationships – Is it worth the Dime!

Spare Change...

Are you always the one putting in more than you receive, time and time again?

Are you the one that keeps on giving just to get nothing back in return, frowned upon your ways to make another smile. Do you often come off as needy or even obsessive, bit of a try hard?

Truth is, we’ve all had those relationships that seem as though we’re the only ones trying to keep it all together, caught with our arms tightly hugged, in hope to keep all the pieces from scattering all along the floor, whist trying not to suffocate ourselves within the process. It always seems that the one who puts in more effort is usually the one that is left broken and disappointed. Many of us take these happenings as a sign of defeat not truly exploring the reasons why, only experiencing an internal disappointment and left concluding we are the issue present.

Awkward moments start to become apparent and those uncomfortable instances of silence fill the air of uncertainty and insecurity. We tend to find ourselves trying to fill the void of discomfort with quirky facial expressions and silly sentences, in order to get the slightest sense of validation and acceptance. We give into the fear of inadequacy, seeking assurance from our partners in hope they still feel love toward us and further validate our egos that self-manifest. This could explain why many of us grow so comfortable within our current situations, not questioning our internal happiness, and why we keep investing within those toxic relationships that keep taking us to the core of our discomfort.

We all make subconscious decisions to keep people within our lives and continue to put in the effort, even when we are not reciprocated the same amount back. We tend to become delusional towards the fear of loss ever so offer.

We as humans invest in things and people all the time, we invest our time, money, energy, emotions and our lives. It’s a big call to give such a treasure so freely don’t you think! After all this is our life and it’s all we have to give right!

See the word Investment usually triggers such a strong response in us all, immediately we relate this word to agreement, commitment, sacrifice and effort. Whatever it is we associate it towards one this is for certain, besides the fact that that they are all a way for us to honor our giving word, we know that it is usually expensive and requires a lot of hard work. It genuinely spark a strong response within us all, and I don’t expect any less from it!

The more time and emotions we give to certain individuals and situations reinforces the way we feel and even react towards them. We continue to open our hearts, not realizing the message we are conveying within the interim. We mislead ourselves and keep those toxic relationships afloat solely because we feel we have given too much. We continue to spread ourselves thin by openly giving to all, not understanding the underline affect it has on us in the background and when things start to get sour we tend to hold the blame!

We continue to sacrifice our internal happiness so often and like a habit we become comfortable with the results, believing it is now expected of us to keep up the fort. Some of us invest in certain individuals so freely without comprehending the consequences that it could bring in time to come. We all know our likes and dislikes, however with this in mind we still tend to invest the pennies of our giving nature and guilt of having someone feel let down, that we tangle ourselves in a suffocating web of regret.

Where we choose to invest ourselves plays such a significance within our lives. When we choose to invest within a certain situation or individuals, we are actually making a subconsciously commitment and accepting to continue to nourish the circumstances at hand. We grow such an emotional attachment to situations and individuals due to the fact that we have subconsciously agreed to commit and continue investing ourselves within this chapter of our lives. We tend to create feeling of guilt and must do attitudes towards the effort and time we have invested within the circumstances, thinking if we let it all go now, it will have all been for nothing. What a waste right!

Acknowledge that making an investment, actually reinforces our commitments and overall value towards a specific circumstance or individual. We must be careful of where we choose to focus our energy and not to mislead our internal feelings towards individuals, due to our internal disappointments of guilt or loss of time. See humans build an attachment to things that they have invested themselves within, we become comfortable within certain situations cultivating habits and adjusting our routines to suit, until it becomes second nature and create a so called expectation towards ourselves that we don’t always resonate with.

Many times due to our giving nature, we open up so freely towards many individuals and without thought we are the first to give a lending hand. Now this is an amazing and wonderful gesture to give, to support another in time of need is an act from the heavens. However a lot of times we are taken advantage of and our intentions misunderstood, even condemned for our good deeds. We continue to give towards people we feel sympathy towards and those in need without ever questioning our doings. Many times we find ourselves worn out in-between heats of arguments, via others subconsciously building an expectation towards ourselves, our own internal expectations and even fear of being judged. What starts off as a generous lending hand soon becomes an expectation from us and others.

We must be conscious of the relationships we initiate, making sure that we still look after ourselves and make sure we are not taken for granted. Others may start to rely on our generosity and even make us feel guilty due to their lack of motivation, ignorance or selfish needs. People tend to build an attitude towards us that has them believe, whatever they do can cause no fault, they give into their selfish needs just because they know they have the upper hand.

During many human interactions and relationships there tends to be one that puts in more effort and gives more freely than another. We tend to have this illusion that the one that gives more is on the lower hand and a little insecure. However this is not always the case and not how a partnership ought to be.

What should be an effort made from 2 parties or many soon becomes an expectation of one. We are neglected, judged and even made to feel guilty of our giving nature. In the beginning of anything new, we all want to put our best foot forward to impress the external world around us and show our nurturing and understanding nature. However the beginning of each chapter is also where we set our personal boundary’s to show the world how and what we accept and respond to. We must understand is that we mustn’t lose sight of this, as the very beginning of anything new is the point we are actually painting our character and personality’s to all.

This could also explain why many couples complain about how their partners may have changed throughout a relationship. It is usually evident during the end of the honeymoon stage as they call it. The honeymoon stage is usually present at the beginning of any relationship when a couple is starting to fall in love, and is always one of excitement, lust and passion. Who can blame us with all those chemicals infusing together to create such a feeling of Europa, it is easy to get side lined. It is a completely new positive and exciting experience. However when the affects wear off and it is all set and done, we are left questioning if this individual is the right one for us.  We fall into a reality of always trying to impress the other person to the point we forget that our internal feelings even matter.

It is important to set our boundary’s and expectations right from the very beginning, otherwise once the relationship starts to become comfortable and relaxed, the boundaries have already been set and expectations created. In time the more we continue to supplement our internal happiness for others and keep our personal doubts suppressed deep within, we will start to resent our partners and they will be left questioning how this has come to be. Eventually we all fall into character and show our true colors to the world.

Don’t ever question your excellence, your happiness and self-worth, you are the most important person in your life, the King/Queen of your kingdom, you choose what reality you are worthy of, not the other way around. I want you to picture yourself as your ultimate idol, set the benchmark of what you except from others, don’t let them take the easy route out and leave you neglected. If others are not as advanced emotionally as you, try guide them and explain your insights and internal feelings, let them understand that you are naturally a caring person but you do expect some reassurance at times.

It is worthy to note however, that all reassurance and acceptance can be expressed on all different platforms, from physical touch, to affection, words of affirmation, quality time and gift giving. (I highly recommend reading “The Five Love Languages” from Gary Chapman if you wish to indulge within this amazing insight, I promise it won’t disappoint). Put your partner on the line and have them explain to you every now and then how they are feeling about the relationship, open communication can do wonders to eliminate uncertainties. It is of higher importance to accept your partner for who they are, let them give from their own heart in their own way and appreciate them for it. Don’t be disappointed and try supplement their response to fill a void that is not in alignment with your own. See it for what it is and understand the intention it has been given in. Truth is when we fall into this bottomless pit of negativity, we become addicted to the slightest bit of acceptance that we don’t give the other space to appreciate us, to miss us, have them think of us and realise that the stakes are high, and that there is a possibility that they may lose something amazing. In time they will feel pressured with our expectations, question their level of commitment and love towards us, feeling guilt towards the fact that we may have invested too much, too soon and left ourselves vulnerable, and open to disappointment if the relationship was not to work out. They feel as though if they were to cut their losses sooner rather than later, we may not be left as hurt and shattered opposed to the longer they keep it up. They eventually distance themselves away, not letting the relationship flow naturally and blossom the way that it was intended to. They sacrifice what could be, due to the fact that they feel responsible for our happiness, and that’s a huge commitment to hold afloat, don’t you agree!

There are many ways we can seek acceptance discreetly, without coming off as needy and insecure, one way is to acknowledge your partners body language and energy when you are around them, do they open up and share, do they talk highly of you to others, these things all add assurance of their commitment within the relationship. But deep down and most importantly how do they make you feel about the relationship? Are you positive around them because they make you happy, or do you feel guilty due to the continuous investment you have surrendered within the relationship, that you fear to lose all your hard efforts?

This will cause you to search deep within your emotions, however be aware that if you are in a low state when doing so, that you will interoperate all external data in a bias and negative state, flush it all away and see them for who they are. See them as a family member that you love unconditionally, and acceptance them for who they are. See how you complement each other, weigh up the pros and cons, talk openly, and understand that no one is perfect, but how perfect are they for you!

Sure we can compensate and put more effort towards the relationship in certain circumstances if we are happy to do so, and if the relationship is in agreeance with it until it grows. However understand that a partnership is a method of people working together, and we should give as much as we get. If you feel that you need more, understand that these internal feelings should be shared and communicated, ask yourself, ”do I feel worthy of the other person, do I feel that I am deserving of this happiness in my life, am I worth it? Or should I say, are they worth YOU!

That we must be alert and always understand each situation with a clear conscious towards what we are choosing to invest in. Rid the fear of disappointment and uncertainty’s to give your word to something that you are willing to back till the end. Understand that if you have expectations you would like met and that are in alignment with what you appreciate and deserve, let your partner know this, that way they know where you stand. Be comfortable with your partner and ask them how they understand themselves, which can help you decipher their intentions and gestures. Don’t ever think that you are the problem or feel as though you are nagging them in doing so, you just understand yourself on a deeper level opposed to your partner. As for any good relationship to continue blossoming, know that communication and acceptance is required.

So remember to question your current relationships and future ones. Make sure you put your best foot forward but also set your boundary’s. Express yourself to others and have them understand your expectations from the get go. Appreciate others for who they are with unconditional love, we all invest within relationships in different ways. Understand each other, speak openly and choose to commit to the circumstances you are both in agreeance with. Rid the fear of loss and understand it’s natural to feel attached to situations and individuals due to the continuous investment you have committed towards, be yourself and make your intentions clear. Our life is our world, and the paths we choose to tread will be the experience we receive. It’s up to you, it always has been!

I hope you enjoyed my post, and look forward to everyone’s insights and comments to come.

Until next time, Take Care For Now.

 

 

Verbal Silence- It’s not always in the words we say!

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Her eyes had a distant glow of hope with a twist of excitement whispering to my soul “Trust me I am more than just a pretty face”. She was wearing a luscious red dress that seemed as though it was tailored to suit her well-proportioned physic, outlining all her curves and well defined body structure.

Her long dark hair had a slight curl that reminded me of the oceans of a hidden paradise yet to be discover. My heart started to ticker and a sense of butterfly’s started surfacing, I could feel the warm sensation of life starting to rise until my cheeks became bright pink. Startled for words I managed to release a slight “hi” whist my mind was in overdrive trying to untangle a range of words weaved between hello and Ahhh, I was speechless.

She leaned over my right shoulder dangling her fingertips on the lower side of my thigh, as my body went into an instant state of paralyzation . She whispered “I tend to have that effect on people” and disappeared into the crowd of a thousand people, never to be seen again.

Well, we have all heard the expressions “Actions speak louder than words” and “pictures hold more than a thousand words”. The truth behind these statements couldn’t of been said any clearer, let’s face it, after all what are words without expression? Their just a bunch of letters right!

We take for granted how important nonverbal communication really is, the subconscious effects that make us respond the way we do to certain individuals and situations.

Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the well-known author of the silent Messages, explains that only 7% of all human interaction is interpreted though verbal communication the remaining 93% is made up of Body language (55%) and tone of voice (38%)

The story above gives an in-depth description of how one responds to an event that has taken his senses captive, the naturally subconscious process that has triggered infatuation from within and the process that is activating these responses.

Many like myself, at one stage of life have had the belief that all human interactions are based solely on verbal communication, and that verbal communication is the cause of such responses and perceptions of another or situation. However like all species in this reality, human’s initial communication method is also through the senses.

In a time before language and arts were created, all human communication was nonverbal. Every message was delivered through body language and human instincts. We tend to forget this ever so often. Spend 5 minutes with your beloved pet, and you will see the emotions they are feeling solely on the body language they give off.

Once we master this technique we can truly start to become more present within our interactions and tailor our outcomes in a way that advantages us to better suit our motives. Further we will also be inviting our audience to experience an unforgettable opportunity to explore an in-depth understanding of your internal message, not to mention all the un-wanting confusion that can be avoided.

We all know the messages we want to convey, even before we start an interaction. However when it comes to the crunch, we tend to shy away from them with overanalyzing the unknowns. The common misleading beliefs of “How will others react, what are they thinking, will I trigger an un-wanting emotion that’s not intended.” all take the stage within our interactions to keep us forever holding back and suppressing the importance we wish to convey.

We focus so much on the words, we forget about the persona were giving off. See when we over think the dialog, many times it causes us to stutter and leave a lot of unsaid words within the process. We give the impressions of uncertainty and second guessing to leave the other parties confused, left to untangle our true intentions.

I found when we simply relax and express our body language within our conversations, it gives a powerful yet unforgettable experience towards ourselves and our audience.

That all instincts are natural and subconscious, our body language will naturally react to the emotions we are feeling within, and project them towards our audience, if we let it!

An amazing practice I use in my daily life, that helps my interactions be as genuine as I intend them to be, is to consistently stay present to the moment.

I allow my internal feelings to surface and experience them for what they are. I surrender to the moment and let my senses guide my persona. By ignoring the ego that consistently self invites itself to be herd, you too can escape from the internal dilemmas that try to justify your every move. Allow the experience of each situation to be genuinely felt from the inside, surrender to the moment and let it take you on the amazing journey that’s intended.

Taking a walk in nature can do wonders, to hear the birds sing in the distance, and feel the wind blow through your skin, to laugh out loud when you feel the urge to and allow yourself to smile when someone compliments you. Welcome new experiences with open arms and embrace the one they call you, seize the moment and be rewarded with the full platinum experience. Who knows you may even discover new sides of you personality that you never knew existed.

It amazing how a few minor adjustments to our appearance can make a world of change. If that’s going for a job interview, a date or even a formal event, dressing appropriately towards the event and keeping ourselves well-groomed and presentable, can create a lasting impression.

Another great exercise that can be fun, is to watch movies of a desired persona you wish to learn. Like real life, we subconsciously feed of individuals that intrigue us and eventually captivate their styles in one way or another towards our experience. It works the same way as studying characters on the screen, eventually you will adapt your own unique and true style within your life. This technique can work wonders, it may even be a life changer, you will be surprised with the results.

So let life take you on the journey that is intended, surrender to all the feelings and emotions that are present and embrace your true colors that make you the amazing person you are intended to be.

Please feel free to leave your comments.

Until next time Take care.