Personality Phases – Noticing the Hidden Apostrophes

The human race is unpredictable, unfair and hurtful, but in all fairness can be loving, caring and beautiful. It’s funny how we can know someone for a lifetime but not really know them at all, wouldn’t you agree! We all know some what about everything, but little of all.

We get caught within this all knowing, thinking we understand another better than they know themselves, but truth be told we are only privileged to see the sides of an individual that they are willing to show us.

Life has a way of getting into routine as they say, we set our ways and usually continues on a path of consistency. We settle into new experiences and if we feel satisfied enough to continue on their paths routines are created. Our human interactions are not too far from this mark either, we find common ground with individuals and set our standards of conduct within that relationship usually early on. We test the waters of acceptance by evaluating the receiving responses that further reassure the expectations we expect from another. We come to believe that one is to act and react in a certain way and subconsciously create a baseline or so called contractual agreement within ourselves about how another should act.

The truth is we are chameleons within all life’s events. Little by little we grow and subconsciously adjust our ways to suit the situations at hand. Can I ask, are you the same person you were five years ago? Have you changed your outlook on life recently or grown? Do you act differently around your parents than you do with your friends, significant other or how you conduct yourself throughout your professional life? See we change the masks of our personality more than we realize.

But change is such a strong and misleading word, don’t you think! Yes we grow, yes we learn and that’s how we evolve and so do our personalities. We can learn a lot of wondrous things about ourselves and others within each and every circumstance we’re privileged. Many times we experience a different angle to another’s personality and instantly we start to reassess everything that we have come to understand, confusion strikes midnight and we are left with this uncomforting feeling towards them.

As humans, there are many faces to our personalities that we may never experience nor understand. Dependent on the situation and stage within our lives can cause us to act and even react to situations in an entirely different manner. As each and every situation we are faced daily, there can be many element and influences at play. Be our thoughts, emotional state, past experiences, or future projection, all these unforeseen elements will shape the actions we take within that very moment and dependent of the ratios and ingredients mixed together, can create an unpredictable response. It’s like baking a cake, so many ingredients can be used, but a poor choice can turn a masterpiece into a disaster!

Unfortunately we are the first to change our perspective of another so quickly due to an emotional event that has taken place. I have seen marriages, friendships and even family’s fall apart due to the slightest happenings and ever the major ones. That one poor choice can make a fairy tale relationship into that dreaded nightmare. We tend to anchor the last emotional event that’s occurred to highlight and even summarize our entire relationship, forgetting all the positives that have been shared in the past. (Suddenly a once called friend becomes a stranger in our eyes and labelled an Enemy.)

We use harsh words to justify ones actions that haven’t rested well with us, calling them such names as backstabbers or two faced individuals, but how can we be so quick to judge another when we don’t understand all the hidden influences that have contributed to this misfortune. Many times the individual at fault may not even understand why they have reacted in the way they did, it was simply just a confusion of subconscious influences that shaped the event.

When we are dealt with an unpleasant situation or event that has had us questioning our relationship, we must understand that a friendship is on the line and can be lost. We must look at the situation and understand all the influences at play. How would we feel if we had done that very mistake? How would we react to that certain situation with the exact same influences that have driven our friend to such extremes? Ask yourself, can this event strengthen your relationship if you were to save it? Are they worth a second chance in your eyes?

Below I have provided a few short stories to summary ones thoughts of confusion that have shaped an unfortunate event to take place.

Flash Judgement

Let’s say you’re in the hour of peak trying to get home after a long and stressful day. Instantly you are cut off from what seems to be a carless driver, “What a Hoon!” you yell in anger caused by your state of shock and disbelief. As you speed up to approach the driver’s window, you come to discover a nurse comforting a man in distress and in serious need of medical treatment. Your perception changes immediately!

Years of Suppression

Jaimi was a compassionate soul, never judgemental and always took life’s happenings with a grain of salt. “I am 25 years of age, I am not perfect but the art of perfection comes in time” she would constantly say to her closest of friends. Jaimi was a single parent, she lived downtown in a studio apartment with an open layout. It was nothing to be proud of, however she strived to make a home out of a square rundown catastrophe. Her home was clean and neat, polite yet petite and as Jaimi was a perfectionist this was a way for her to really show off her artistic side. Jaimi had her fair share of struggle earlier on in life, and on the surface it seemed she was in control and nothing seemed to shake her much. Her heart was taken young by her high school prince charming. Once her mother was diagnosed with severe breast cancer when Jaimi was at the age of 14, Tyson was there to comfort her and eventually this caring bond blossomed into what should have been a marriage of the century, however this was not the case. Their marriage lasted just shy of four years. Jaimi thought they were growing closer together after the birth of Annabella, but Tyson was distancing away. The social pressures of parenthood were weighing heavily on Tyson, but he was too proud to admit his defeat to his dearest Jaime and walked out one night never to return. The marriage ended soon after autumn three days before their fourth anniversary. Jaimi took the guilt as a fault of her own and remains single to this day. Jaimi was left alone, yet she stayed positive throughout this time of struggle, as thou it seemed. Two year have passed on and from the surface Jaimi seems as charismatic and positive than ever, but this façade she shows the world has an uncomfortable pillow of comfort that she rest her head on each night she tries to sleep.

A few days ago Jaimi’s closest friend arrived at their usual lunch date just around the corner from Jaimi’s apartment, which Jaimi saves all her loose change from the alphabet soups she buys Anabelle every week to spoil herself a skinny latte. However when her friend Samantha called her that Thursday, Jaime had reacted in a completely different manner that had Samantha questioning their friendship. “Jaime where are you, I have been waiting for 15mins already, it’s not like you to ever be late” she replied to the answering tone as it went to the beep.  Ten minutes passed and Samantha had grown frustrated feeling used, thinking to herself “Jaime should have called to tell me she couldn’t make it, instead of me sitting here waiting like a friendless disappointment” as she sat in the busy dinner all alone feeling insecure. Samantha was the jealous type and felt very insecure about herself, it seemed that all her friend had been married early on and she was destined to live alone. She found comfort with Jaimi as she was never judgmental and always provided Samantha with the reassurance she needed constantly. After fifteen minutes the waiter advised Samantha to leave if she was not prepared to purchase anything. Samantha grew even more frustrated with Jaimi and felt betrayed, “I was made out to be a loner, a complete embarrassment” she muttered under her breath as she stormed outside. Samantha in all her rage decided to call Jaime again to express her disappointments.

Meanwhile on the other side of town Jaime was not having the most of what was meant to be a relaxing day. Annabelle was up crying all night and coming down with fever. Further she received a call earlier in the day by her employer advised that her pay wouldn’t be realized this week, as they were changing their finance firm and outsourcing the procurement department. These circumstances affected Jaime in a negative way as she was living on a pay to pay week, and kept her daily routines religious. As Jaimi woke earlier this morning after her scattered three hours of sleep, she wasn’t feeling the best. She would usually suppress her passed emotions well but today they were starting to surface, it may have been due to the lack of sleep she had or just the underlying fact that she had tried to keep these feelings suppressed for so long and grew tired of covering them under this façade of perfection. To be completely honest Jaime forgot about her weekly plans with Samantha, as she had also forgotten to charge her cell phone the following night which is why she had missed Samantha’s call prior.  As Jaimi realized her phone was empty she quickly rushed over to the counter to commence the charge, whist heading to the counter she slipped on a small puddle of milk that Annabella had spilt seconds before. The breaking point was close for Jaimi as she took a few deep breathes and said to herself “Stay Positive”. As soon as Jaime finally had enough charge to open her cell phone, she was surprised to see an incoming call from Samantha. As she answered the phone she instantly felt guilt towards her forgetfulness, however that quickly changed as she was amazed with the response Samantha had given her.

“How dare you make a fool out of me miss!” Samantha roared “I am so terribly sorry babe, I have had an awful day” responded Jaime, confused by the way Samantha was acting as she had never spoken to her in this way before. “You better be sorry, you call yourself a friend. How would you like it if I did that to you” responded Samantha clearly upset. Jaimi felt an unexplainable overwhelming feeling of what one could only explain as anger, disappointment, hurt, fear, guilt and about two years of bottled up emotions. She finally snapped!  “Excuse me, calm down! I have never treated you with such disrespect before. My day has been one out of the pits of hell and for you to act in such a manner is disrespectful” She yelled. The arguments grew as the insults were returned with each statement that was shared. You could feel the years of a friendship being damaged. Finally Samantha hung up the phone and since that day the friendship has never been the same again.

Jaime had never spoken in such a way to Samantha before, however all the external influences and internal disappointments in her life had exploded within a two minute call from Samantha. If Samantha offered a bit of compassion or suppressed her disappointments this story could have played out in a completely different way. Samantha and Jaimi still talk however this encounter has both scared them with regret and guilt, but most of all poisoned their perception of one another!

Small and major life happening change our perception in so many ways than it would for another, what one can cope with another would fall. We forget to assess all life’s influences when they are really needed. We get into this undiscovered or overanalyzed belief that people are two faced, not genuine and even deceitful without really exploring the reasons why. Instead we take these happenings on a face value forgetting to shed the light on all the curves and edges present. We like to believe that we know how we would act or react to curtain situations and quick to judge another without ever realizing the hidden letters substituted by a simple apostrophe and as we all know a simple apostrophe can change an entire understanding!

You hear stories of others doing trouble things or un-foreseen actions and we are the first to judge, only because we don’t understand the circumstances at hand and left interoperating it on a bias and limited understanding. Others may fall victim to seduction, fear, and even pride not to mention drugs and alcohol which causes us to act and react to circumstances in unexpected and explainable ways.

There can be hundreds of situations that present themselves in the same outfit, but dependent on all the supporting elements and influences can play out in a trillion different ways. So before we are quick to let a friendship vanish prematurely remember all your past memory’s you had once shared. Understand that they are still the same person and that they have not just magically changed overnight, it is just another angle of their personality’s you have got to see. Let these happenings help you to further understand them. Remember to treat everyone in a way you wish to be treated in return. We all fall victim to mistakes and things we aren’t so proud of, thou to forgive and forget can set us free and be the salvation to a fairy tale relationship that it once was before. We all make mistakes as we are not perfect, after all we are only human and it is all part of our experience.

That the purpose of this message is not to justify the regrets one makes, but to guide one to understand that there are many elements at play. For what we interpreted on a surface level, can be deceiving to an untrained eye. That evil does exist but not in the human skin, as we are made upon the image of all that is good so for that we shall learn to forgive. Humans are sensitive creatures and easily lead astray, but not by nature that has blessed our days, instead mislead by the confusions we gain along the way.

We all know the relationships that serve us wonders, and the ones of regret. So I ask that we evaluate our relationships even when their gloom, but don’t let the happenings of the day set you aloof. At the very least lets forgive and forget to let the troubles rest and we shall set them free to live in peace.

I hope you have enjoyed this post, I look forward to all your comments.

Until Next Time, Take Care For Now.

 

Coins Of A Narrow Path- As The Jar Fills The More We Invest

Spare Change, Toxic Relationships – Is it worth the Dime!

Are you always the one putting in more than you receive, time and time again?

Are you the one that keeps on giving just to get nothing back in return, frowned upon your ways to make another smile. Do you often come off as needy or even obsessive, bit of a try hard?

Truth is, we’ve all had those relationships that seem as though we’re the only ones trying to keep it all together, caught with our arms tightly hugged, in hope to keep all the pieces from scattering all along the floor, whist trying not to suffocate ourselves within the process. It always seems that the one who puts in more effort is usually the one that is left broken and disappointed. Many of us take these happenings as a sign of defeat not truly exploring the reasons why, only experiencing an internal disappointment and left concluding we are the issue present.

Awkward moments start to become apparent and those uncomfortable instances of silence fill the air of uncertainty and insecurity. We tend to find ourselves trying to fill the void of discomfort with quirky facial expressions and silly sentences, in order to get the slightest sense of validation and acceptance. We give into the fear of inadequacy, seeking assurance from our partners in hope they still feel love toward us and further validate our egos that self-manifest. This could explain why many of us grow so comfortable within our current situations, not questioning our internal happiness, and why we keep investing within those toxic relationships that keep taking us to the core of our discomfort.

We all make subconscious decisions to keep people within our lives and continue to put in the effort, even when we are not reciprocated the same amount back. We tend to become delusional towards the fear of loss ever so offer.

We as humans invest in things and people all the time, we invest our time, money, energy, emotions and our lives. It’s a big call to give such a treasure so freely don’t you think! After all this is our life and it’s all we have to give right!

See the word Investment usually triggers such a strong response in us all, immediately we relate this word to agreement, commitment, sacrifice and effort. Whatever it is we associate it towards one this is for certain, besides the fact that that they are all a way for us to honor our giving word, we know that it is usually expensive and requires a lot of hard work. It genuinely spark a strong response within us all, and I don’t expect any less from it!

The more time and emotions we give to certain individuals and situations reinforces the way we feel and even react towards them. We continue to open our hearts, not realizing the message we are conveying within the interim. We mislead ourselves and keep those toxic relationships afloat solely because we feel we have given too much. We continue to spread ourselves thin by openly giving to all, not understanding the underline affect it has on us in the background and when things start to get sour we tend to hold the blame!

We continue to sacrifice our internal happiness so often and like a habit we become comfortable with the results, believing it is now expected of us to keep up the fort. Some of us invest in certain individuals so freely without comprehending the consequences that it could bring in time to come. We all know our likes and dislikes, however with this in mind we still tend to invest the pennies of our giving nature and guilt of having someone feel let down, that we tangle ourselves in a suffocating web of regret.

Where we choose to invest ourselves plays such a significance within our lives. When we choose to invest within a certain situation or individuals, we are actually making a subconsciously commitment and accepting to continue to nourish the circumstances at hand. We grow such an emotional attachment to situations and individuals due to the fact that we have subconsciously agreed to commit and continue investing ourselves within this chapter of our lives. We tend to create feeling of guilt and must do attitudes towards the effort and time we have invested within the circumstances, thinking if we let it all go now, it will have all been for nothing. What a waste right!

Acknowledge that making an investment, actually reinforces our commitments and overall value towards a specific circumstance or individual. We must be careful of where we choose to focus our energy and not to mislead our internal feelings towards individuals, due to our internal disappointments of guilt or loss of time. See humans build an attachment to things that they have invested themselves within, we become comfortable within certain situations cultivating habits and adjusting our routines to suit, until it becomes second nature and create a so called expectation towards ourselves that we don’t always resonate with.

Many times due to our giving nature, we open up so freely towards many individuals and without thought we are the first to give a lending hand. Now this is an amazing and wonderful gesture to give, to support another in time of need is an act from the heavens. However a lot of times we are taken advantage of and our intentions misunderstood, even condemned for our good deeds. We continue to give towards people we feel sympathy towards and those in need without ever questioning our doings. Many times we find ourselves worn out in-between heats of arguments, via others subconsciously building an expectation towards ourselves, our own internal expectations and even fear of being judged. What starts off as a generous lending hand soon becomes an expectation from us and others.

We must be conscious of the relationships we initiate, making sure that we still look after ourselves and make sure we are not taken for granted. Others may start to rely on our generosity and even make us feel guilty due to their lack of motivation, ignorance or selfish needs. People tend to build an attitude towards us that has them believe, whatever they do can cause no fault, they give into their selfish needs just because they know they have the upper hand.

During many human interactions and relationships there tends to be one that puts in more effort and gives more freely than another. We tend to have this illusion that the one that gives more is on the lower hand and a little insecure. However this is not always the case and not how a partnership ought to be.

What should be an effort made from 2 parties or many soon becomes an expectation of one. We are neglected, judged and even made to feel guilty of our giving nature. In the beginning of anything new, we all want to put our best foot forward to impress the external world around us and show our nurturing and understanding nature. However the beginning of each chapter is also where we set our personal boundary’s to show the world how and what we accept and respond to. We must understand is that we mustn’t lose sight of this, as the very beginning of anything new is the point we are actually painting our character and personality’s to all.

This could also explain why many couples complain about how their partners may have changed throughout a relationship. It is usually evident during the end of the honeymoon stage as they call it. The honeymoon stage is usually present at the beginning of any relationship when a couple is starting to fall in love, and is always one of excitement, lust and passion. Who can blame us with all those chemicals infusing together to create such a feeling of Europa, it is easy to get side lined. It is a completely new positive and exciting experience. However when the affects wear off and it is all set and done, we are left questioning if this individual is the right one for us.  We fall into a reality of always trying to impress the other person to the point we forget that our internal feelings even matter.

It is important to set our boundary’s and expectations right from the very beginning, otherwise once the relationship starts to become comfortable and relaxed, the boundaries have already been set and expectations created. In time the more we continue to supplement our internal happiness for others and keep our personal doubts suppressed deep within, we will start to resent our partners and they will be left questioning how this has come to be. Eventually we all fall into character and show our true colors to the world.

Don’t ever question your excellence, your happiness and self-worth, you are the most important person in your life, the King/Queen of your kingdom, you choose what reality you are worthy of, not the other way around. I want you to picture yourself as your ultimate idol, set the benchmark of what you except from others, don’t let them take the easy route out and leave you neglected. If others are not as advanced emotionally as you, try guide them and explain your insights and internal feelings, let them understand that you are naturally a caring person but you do expect some reassurance at times.

It is worthy to note however, that all reassurance and acceptance can be expressed on all different platforms, from physical touch, to affection, words of affirmation, quality time and gift giving. (I highly recommend reading “The Five Love Languages” from Gary Chapman if you wish to indulge within this amazing insight, I promise it won’t disappoint). Put your partner on the line and have them explain to you every now and then how they are feeling about the relationship, open communication can do wonders to eliminate uncertainties. It is of higher importance to accept your partner for who they are, let them give from their own heart in their own way and appreciate them for it. Don’t be disappointed and try supplement their response to fill a void that is not in alignment with your own. See it for what it is and understand the intention it has been given in. Truth is when we fall into this bottomless pit of negativity, we become addicted to the slightest bit of acceptance that we don’t give the other space to appreciate us, to miss us, have them think of us and realise that the stakes are high, and that there is a possibility that they may lose something amazing. In time they will feel pressured with our expectations, question their level of commitment and love towards us, feeling guilt towards the fact that we may have invested too much, too soon and left ourselves vulnerable, and open to disappointment if the relationship was not to work out. They feel as though if they were to cut their losses sooner rather than later, we may not be left as hurt and shattered opposed to the longer they keep it up. They eventually distance themselves away, not letting the relationship flow naturally and blossom the way that it was intended to. They sacrifice what could be, due to the fact that they feel responsible for our happiness, and that’s a huge commitment to hold afloat, don’t you agree!

There are many ways we can seek acceptance discreetly, without coming off as needy and insecure, one way is to acknowledge your partners body language and energy when you are around them, do they open up and share, do they talk highly of you to others, these things all add assurance of their commitment within the relationship. But deep down and most importantly how do they make you feel about the relationship? Are you positive around them because they make you happy, or do you feel guilty due to the continuous investment you have surrendered within the relationship, that you fear to lose all your hard efforts?

This will cause you to search deep within your emotions, however be aware that if you are in a low state when doing so, that you will interoperate all external data in a bias and negative state, flush it all away and see them for who they are. See them as a family member that you love unconditionally, and acceptance them for who they are. See how you complement each other, weigh up the pros and cons, talk openly, and understand that no one is perfect, but how perfect are they for you!

Sure we can compensate and put more effort towards the relationship in certain circumstances if we are happy to do so, and if the relationship is in agreeance with it until it grows. However understand that a partnership is a method of people working together, and we should give as much as we get. If you feel that you need more, understand that these internal feelings should be shared and communicated, ask yourself, ”do I feel worthy of the other person, do I feel that I am deserving of this happiness in my life, am I worth it? Or should I say, are they worth YOU!

That we must be alert and always understand each situation with a clear conscious towards what we are choosing to invest in. Rid the fear of disappointment and uncertainty’s to give your word to something that you are willing to back till the end. Understand that if you have expectations you would like met and that are in alignment with what you appreciate and deserve, let your partner know this, that way they know where you stand. Be comfortable with your partner and ask them how they understand themselves, which can help you decipher their intentions and gestures. Don’t ever think that you are the problem or feel as though you are nagging them in doing so, you just understand yourself on a deeper level opposed to your partner. As for any good relationship to continue blossoming, know that communication and acceptance is required.

So remember to question your current relationships and future ones. Make sure you put your best foot forward but also set your boundary’s. Express yourself to others and have them understand your expectations from the get go. Appreciate others for who they are with unconditional love, we all invest within relationships in different ways. Understand each other, speak openly and choose to commit to the circumstances you are both in agreeance with. Rid the fear of loss and understand it’s natural to feel attached to situations and individuals due to the continuous investment you have committed towards, be yourself and make your intentions clear. Our life is our world, and the paths we choose to tread will be the experience we receive. It’s up to you, it always has been!

I hope you enjoyed my post, and look forward to everyone’s insights and comments to come.

Until next time, Take Care For Now.

 

 

Verbal Silence- It’s not always in the words we say!

Her eyes had a distant glow of hope with a twist of excitement whispering to my soul “Trust me I am more than just a pretty face”. She was wearing a luscious red dress that seemed as though it was tailored to suit her well-proportioned physic, outlining all her curves and well defined body structure.

Her long dark hair had a slight curl that reminded me of the oceans of a hidden paradise yet to be discover. My heart started to ticker and a sense of butterfly’s started surfacing, I could feel the warm sensation of life starting to rise until my cheeks became bright pink. Startled for words I managed to release a slight “hi” whist my mind was in overdrive trying to untangle a range of words weaved between hello and Ahhh, I was speechless.

She leaned over my right shoulder dangling her fingertips on the lower side of my thigh, as my body went into an instant state of paralyzation . She whispered “I tend to have that effect on people” and disappeared into the crowd of a thousand people, never to be seen again.

Well, we have all heard the expressions “Actions speak louder than words” and “pictures hold more than a thousand words”. The truth behind these statements couldn’t of been said any clearer, let’s face it, after all what are words without expression? Their just a bunch of letters right!

We take for granted how important nonverbal communication really is, the subconscious effects that make us respond the way we do to certain individuals and situations.

Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the well-known author of the silent Messages, explains that only 7% of all human interaction is interpreted though verbal communication the remaining 93% is made up of Body language (55%) and tone of voice (38%)

The story above gives an in-depth description of how one responds to an event that has taken his senses captive, the naturally subconscious process that has triggered infatuation from within and the process that is activating these responses.

Many like myself, at one stage of life have had the belief that all human interactions are based solely on verbal communication, and that verbal communication is the cause of such responses and perceptions of another or situation. However like all species in this reality, human’s initial communication method is also through the senses.

In a time before language and arts were created, all human communication was nonverbal. Every message was delivered through body language and human instincts. We tend to forget this ever so often. Spend 5 minutes with your beloved pet, and you will see the emotions they are feeling solely on the body language they give off.

Once we master this technique we can truly start to become more present within our interactions and tailor our outcomes in a way that advantages us to better suit our motives. Further we will also be inviting our audience to experience an unforgettable opportunity to explore an in-depth understanding of your internal message, not to mention all the un-wanting confusion that can be avoided.

We all know the messages we want to convey, even before we start an interaction. However when it comes to the crunch, we tend to shy away from them with overanalyzing the unknowns. The common misleading beliefs of “How will others react, what are they thinking, will I trigger an un-wanting emotion that’s not intended.” all take the stage within our interactions to keep us forever holding back and suppressing the importance we wish to convey.

We focus so much on the words, we forget about the persona were giving off. See when we over think the dialog, many times it causes us to stutter and leave a lot of unsaid words within the process. We give the impressions of uncertainty and second guessing to leave the other parties confused, left to untangle our true intentions.

I found when we simply relax and express our body language within our conversations, it gives a powerful yet unforgettable experience towards ourselves and our audience.

That all instincts are natural and subconscious, our body language will naturally react to the emotions we are feeling within, and project them towards our audience, if we let it!

An amazing practice I use in my daily life, that helps my interactions be as genuine as I intend them to be, is to consistently stay present to the moment.

I allow my internal feelings to surface and experience them for what they are. I surrender to the moment and let my senses guide my persona. By ignoring the ego that consistently self invites itself to be herd, you too can escape from the internal dilemmas that try to justify your every move. Allow the experience of each situation to be genuinely felt from the inside, surrender to the moment and let it take you on the amazing journey that’s intended.

Taking a walk in nature can do wonders, to hear the birds sing in the distance, and feel the wind blow through your skin, to laugh out loud when you feel the urge to and allow yourself to smile when someone compliments you. Welcome new experiences with open arms and embrace the one they call you, seize the moment and be rewarded with the full platinum experience. Who knows you may even discover new sides of you personality that you never knew existed.

It amazing how a few minor adjustments to our appearance can make a world of change. If that’s going for a job interview, a date or even a formal event, dressing appropriately towards the event and keeping ourselves well-groomed and presentable, can create a lasting impression.

Another great exercise that can be fun, is to watch movies of a desired persona you wish to learn. Like real life, we subconsciously feed of individuals that intrigue us and eventually captivate their styles in one way or another towards our experience. It works the same way as studying characters on the screen, eventually you will adapt your own unique and true style within your life. This technique can work wonders, it may even be a life changer, you will be surprised with the results.

So let life take you on the journey that is intended, surrender to all the feelings and emotions that are present and embrace your true colors that make you the amazing person you are intended to be.

Please feel free to leave your comments.

Until next time Take care.

Behind the eyes of the applauded – Don’t let it catch you by Surprise!

Life seems more complex now than ever, don’t you think!

Why is it that we still feel so isolated in a time that the world is so advanced, we tend to shy away from the world ever so often. Taking shelter in our rooms just to over submerge ourselves with work, to make the days seem effortless and inexistent. It seems that any free time we are granted is wasted by escaping reality to stare at a square on the wall. Even when we are presented the opportunity to go out to social events, we tend to sit down and give our full attention towards our cell phones for the entire sitting! Living a so called virtual reality opposed to enjoying each and every moment in the company of our loved ones.

Did we simply just miss the mark on this one or have we just adapted so well towards a continuous routine of emotionless happiness. We have so many choices now than ever before, that we tend to become self-hypnotized and continually agonize ourselves over analyzing everything, instead of accepting what we have and being grateful for it!

Our children go to school, just to notice that other children have better things than they do, as a result they learn jealousy, “why do they have that and we don’t”. Others start participating in the art of approval seeking and egotistic behaviors. Bullying others trying to supplement a false sense of superiority and acceptance. Measuring up to a social norm that is consistently being fed to them via a negatively influenced misconception of empowerment. We pay less attention to our families and children, caught up in the rat race we call society. Living up to false standards of happiness and achieving wealth. We become so focused and develop a so called tunnel vision towards achieving our goals, that we lose sight on the basic necessities of life… Love.

We tend to complain when our children start their mischief behavior. Mixing with wrong crowds as a direct result of our negligence, a desperate cry for help in hope to acquire our attention and approval. We continue to expose the world of illusion onto them, being the television or social media in hope that it will keep them occupied until we complete our days’ work, which never seems to end. They learn directly from this world of illusion, accepting all the negative behaviors exposed towards them tailored for entertainment, opposed to real life lessons and experiences. And who can blame them, how are they to know the difference!

Instead of us embracing our children, to teach them lessons of the past, right from wrong, have them contribute to the household and work together. We substitute our ever so limited schedules and leave it up to the world of entertainment to mold their minds and life lessons that will carry them throughout their entire lives! A crucial learning cycle we have all gone through!

Our marriages start to fall apart, due to a lack of communication, affection and quality time. Have we really forgotten to communicate, or have we just chosen the easiest route of escape in this exact moment of time.

We continue to hold on to all the little things and let them build up, simply because it would take too much time explaining, not to mention the predicament we would be left dealing with. But Little by little they fill to the brim, until we cannot contain them no more. And like a disease it starts to spreads and infects our perception on the other person. We forget to show our gratitude towards our significant others, and express how we truly feel towards them. We become so distant and cold towards emotions, believing that they are nothing more than a liability and serve no purpose within the world we are now living in. Eventually we adapt a “me against the world” attitude, which will eventually leave us lonely and questioning our ways in time to come!  Always leaving the important things till tomorrow, forgetting that tomorrow never comes. However in time these egotistic behaviors eventually take the throne of our perception that mold our realities and suppress any behaviors that threaten its position.

We revert to our cell phones for a quick dopamine fix, with any spare time we get. Just to escape from reality, but even that world is over rated. Children seeking acceptance and validation through social media platforms, continuously checking for likes and followers trying to fit into a world that has been off the rails from the very beginning. No wonder depression has inclined dramatically over the past decade! We have all become addicted, slaves of our egos.

Our children take favor towards idols presented on the screen, and story lines that has been written entitled to trigger certain emotions that leaves us intrigued and wanting more. That we choose to accept this over annualized plot as real life, and learn these so called “life lessons” from the screen of illusion until we subconsciously reinforce the truth, and as a result those are the emotions we feed off!

We shy away from the world, when it becomes too hard and confusing, escaping reality in hope that it will all be forgotten. However in time, this will just reinforce the satisfaction of running away in a time of need. What lessons are we teaching the young, we must never forget, that we are the role models of the future!

We have been submerged within this reality of social validation from the second we are born, and many of us fear to question the norm, as we may be criticized over it! We as humans fall victim ever so often to what is expected of us, but can I ask, what is normal?

That normal is a common belief a specific social circle share, it reinforces your connection towards the pack! Many of us don’t even question the behaviors we adapt on a social network. That we suppress our statements and leave our voices un heard, in fear that we will be criticized or labelled weird or even delusional. But are you the one that is delusional or is it the society we are living in! That what is normal to you is not what is normal for me, and it is extremely visible throughout world cultures and traditions.

What we must remember is, what are the reasons that are driving us to achieve our greatness within the first place? Is it to provide a better future for your family, or to be financially independent? Is it for love and acceptance, or is it for happiness! We should always revisit our motivations and justify our commitments. Some of us are too so focused on achieving our goals that we tend to make the very thing we wanted to strengthen worse. It is always a good reminder to revisit our initial motives and make sure we are still on track, that it is so easy to lose sight of them.

A practice that serves me wonders is to keep a reminder close by, if it’s a picture of your family on your desk at work to remind you that you may be working too much. It will serve as a gentle reminder that it may be time to go home and spend some quality time with the family that is well over due. If your goal is it to be financially free then it may serve you wonders to spend a weekend treating yourself to an enjoyable experience. It may just reinforce a stronger desire of motivation within you, and further remind you why you are doing all this in the first place.

Also make sure you keeping on track with your health, ever so often, life becomes so hectic, we forget about ourselves. Because at the end of the day, what are all the riches in the world worth, if we can’t enjoy them!

Make sure to spend your time wisely and in the company of the people that matter the most, doing the things you love. Because after all life is not forever, hence why we should make the most of it every single moment we have! It’s a privilege to live let’s all embrace our gift, one moment at a time.

That life is amazing, but don’t let it catch you by surprise at the finish line.

Please feel free to leave your comment, I wish you all a wonderful day.

Until next time, Take Care for Now!

 

 

 

 

 

Fight Or Flight -The Illusion OF Anxiety

Throughout history millions have undertaken their own personal endeavors of self-realization, and even after three million years of existence the human makeup is something that still remains a complete mystery.

This phenomenon of self-discovery has taken form in many trails from personal journeys, religion to science and philosophy. And still, we haven’t even started to scratch the surface of understanding. If we only knew what powers we actually possessed, and how to properly use them, one could only imagine Endless opportunities that are instantly presented.

The Human race possesses the world most elite technologies and systems within its creation. It has been witnessed throughout evolution, that the human race continuously becomes more aware and advanced. Adapting and cultivating such innovation to suit an ever changing world, with the exact same resources our ancestors had. We already possess everything we need, within!

Ancient scriptures throughout the world describe of the enlightenment many have experienced. The possibilities and the flaws it can bring, due to an abundant or limited understanding. But like all divine understandings and power, when in the wrong hands of knowing, can be catastrophic far beyond measure! Let’s face it, it’s not like we were given an instruction manual on how to be human!

Many individuals have expressed their struggles towards anxiety to me, seeking advice and guidance towards the matter. Anxiety affects 1 in 13 humans worldwide. It is a common experience, so please do not feel as if you are any different because of it. I personally believe that anxiety is created due to a limiting understanding of our internal functions and human instincts.

See all humans are created with a default state of survival. A default state that is naturally programed within us upon birth. This is not learnt, this is our creation! Without thought, we are born too subconsciously see, breathe, and have our hearts beat. Our body’s respond subconsciously to all we need and all that is required to survive.

We are programed with subconscious reminders of discomfort that remind us to take action. When we experience a feeling of hunger, we know we need food. When we experience thirst, we know we are dehydrated and when we become tired, we know we need sleep and rest etc. As for anxiety, we experience a discomfort, reminding us there is a misalignment somewhere within.

Humans are the complete package, with no flaws. The human race is so unique that it can even self-heal itself. When one get cut or weakens a muscle, our bodies subconsciously heal themselves. This is how advance we all are, mind-blowing right! However with so many elements and internal systems, it is easy to see how one can become confused and even mislead.

We tend to change our entire understanding and practices so easily, via mere misunderstandings! A minor disconnect can send our worlds down a spiral of confusion and misalignment. A minor disconnect from our default state that is!

Anxiety is a great example, generalized by a limited understanding and association to the human survival system – The fight or flight response.

The fight or flight response is a part of our survival system, our human instincts. A default state within our makeup. This magnificent system, is here to support us in a time of danger.

The fight or flight response is activated subconsciously, when we are exposed to a life threatening situation, or when our lives are in danger. When this response is activated, the brain sends out an SOS message. Which activates our sympathetic nervous system (The stress system) and releases a range of hormones and neurochemicals, adrenaline being one of them. The body simply goes into survival mode.

The body actively resynchronizes the amount of energy being displaced to other systems within our bodies that may not be of assistance in a time of threat. It disengages many systems that won’t be required on a short term basis, such as the digestion system and redirects the energy towards more promising survival systems, such as increasing the amount of blood flow being transited throughout our body’s and muscles. This is all to get us ready to either fight or flight (Flee)

Our bodies are made to survive. All our natural internal systems and elements are made to support our survival, not to sabotage it!

I like to understand the fight or flight response in a simpler and less scientific way. I feel that the fight or flight response is engaged, due an unexpected surge of energy trying to be processed all at once. An unexpected shock to the body, via an event that was not intended. This then causes our brain to go into an overdrive, which causes us to overheat. Hence why our hearts start to rise, palm sweat and all that fun stuff. That when we experience an intense and unexpected situation, it causes an overload of emotions and thoughts to be processed at the same time. And before you can think of a solution to decipher the situation, we go into a panic mode. It’s basically a surge of power getting sent to the brain, and because it cannot process it all at once it reverts such a response. A response of survival, to fight or flee the situation.

However with that said, the fight or flight response can be activated prematurely. We can short circuit this response, by an over load of negative thoughts and intense emotions. A false belief that is reinforced internally, having us believe it is real. Generally when we make false assumptions to believe our lives are in danger. “Huston we have a problem, Mayday, Mayday initiate the Fight or Flight!”

There is so much energy trying to be processed at one time, that our circuit gives up and crash. We become so invested within the feelings of fear and future projection, which cause us to hone in on all those negative feelings, to further reinforce this illusion of pain and imprisonment.

We continue to focus on all the elements of discomfort within us such as; loss of breathe, overdrive of adrenaline, constriction in the throat region, etc. And because we focus on it so intensely, we feel the full affects even if there not present.  We self-manifest these feelings within to subconsciously activate its responses.  

We tend to stop exercising, distance ourselves from loved ones, subconsciously tense the body, avoid sleeping and even stop eating. All these elements then start to take a spiraling effect.

We focus so much on the effects, we lose sight of the cause. And many of us start to adjust our lives in fear of the next episode, further reinforcing its truth. However when we obsess over the affects, instead of the cause, we are just adding to this viscous cycle, that all revert their own negative reactions!

Let’s break a range symptom down and see the underlying causes, and how they are all interweaved together!

Firstly it is important to always remember that all commands are initiated through the brain, and influenced by thought. Initially, one becomes influenced by a train of negative thoughts and amplified emotions attached towards them. Generally via a horrible experience that reverted the fight or flight response previously. We short circuit a response in the brain.

We attach many senses towards the negative thoughts, and divert all our focus towards our discomfort until the feelings become present. Now the slightest feeling, is amplified due to our intense focus.

This fear spirals our hearts to beat, and our adrenaline to activate. Now we have an intense feeling we are trying to decipher within our minds. We start to take short gasps of air, adding to the discomfort, caused by our internal fear and now our bodies are in overdrive.

Further, as we are not eating correctly, the body try’s to scavenge all the excess energy remaining within this deficiency we have caused, in order to deal with this disconnect. However our bodies are so tired due to a lack of sleep, and all the previous energy we have invested in worrying and tensing our bodies throughout the day, which it goes into a state of shock and panic, activating such a response. Well done, you have now manipulated your brain in believing you are in a life threatening situation.

See when one stops eating, due to a false belief of chocking, they are causing a deficiency of nutrients and energy throughout the body. And without food, how the body is expected to function properly and feel healthy. Further add a lack of sleep and weary muscles caused from an ongoing internal strain to the muscles. And as if that wasn’t enough, continue to add the discomfort of feeling tired and worn down caused from a lack of sleep. See how the body is now feeding from a feast of negativity and fear, to activate the fight or flight!

It is most important to understand that our internal make-up is made for survival. For one to regain control and focus of their thoughts and emotion is the key. Our internal system will do the rest, to self-heal itself. Remember that all commands are initiated through the brain and influenced upon your thoughts and emotions.

For one to list the process and understand the steps that are initiated and influenced is crucial, it will set you free.

A very common teaching to relieve anxiety, is for one to become present and pay attention to their breathing. As our bodies are processing so many thoughts and emotions at once, it causes our whole system is running in overdrive, we need to bring it down to optimum working level, and redirect our focus onto something else. The rest will take care of itself. Understand that we are in no harm, and that it’s caused by a daydream of false beliefs. Do not invest within the feelings, instead focus on the cause to understand its illusion.

I have come to find, that the easiest way to escape from the illusion of anxiety, is to realign ones focus.

Focus is the kryptonite, to anxiety!

That our current environment and situations shape us, we become all that we are exposed to. Hence why when one feels as though their living within a hell, the only reassurance they are receiving from the world is negative. Understand that your entire focus is on this misalignment, so we must refocus our energy on our hearts desires and positivity.

If that is falling in love, deciding to move into foreign territories, getting a new job, etc. Find something you love to do or start something new that will take your focus away from the darkness and into the light.

When we redirect our focus to a situation that will impact us and offered more of an emotional and physical impact toward that we are currently focusing on. It will dilute the effect of anxiety. See if I put you in a plane and made you skydive, your entire focus will be in the experience of free falling, it is a completely new experience. It impacts you on a direct emotional level yet physical level, and as we know that which affects us and uses more senses is where our focus goes. And if you focus on positivity, that is what will grow.

Don’t give value to the false beliefs that you are different or ill, believe that your body will self-heal itself as it was created to do. Surrender to the thoughts and false beliefs and know that they cannot harm you. As one dreams to wake up safe and normal, once we realize we are living in a self-manifested day dream, we too will wake up safe and normal.

I hope I have given you more insight towards this topic, and thank you all for reaching out. Please feel free to leave your comments, Stay safe and always well.

Until Next Time, Take Care.